heartbreak girl | s.m.

46 | feelings

me: a girl can surely dream

And so I ate some crackers and was able to keep them down. Then I fell asleep shortly after that, and so did he, and we woke up only an hour later. And that's where I'm at right now. He's getting me my next dosage of ibuprofen, and I'm responding to more email. It's awesome...except not at all. He's awesome, but the situation is quite sucky.

"Before you can say thank you and I love you, you're welcome and I love you, too," he said as he appeared in my doorway. He handed me the pills and I took them with my water. I smiled to show my gratefulness, even though my body didn't want to smile. I feel like garbage.

"How is it four o'clock and we've managed to do absolutely nothing all day?" I said, laying back against my pillow and feeling quite melancholy.

"I wouldn't say we've done nothing," he replied. "I mean, you almost died, so that was pretty interesting. And you've been working on work over there, Little Miss Diligence. And I've been working on my own stuff. We've actually been more productive today than usual."

I smiled at him and sipped my water. "Yeah; you're right. I like the way you think."

He shrugged. "Facts are facts."

"I'll be better by tomorrow," I told him reassuringly. "So you should just go home tonight and get a good night's sleep."

"Mm'kay," he half-heartedly agreed, picking my guitar up again and strumming the strings, facing me as he sat on my bed. "I think I should serenade my deathly ill girlfriend, right?"

I smiled. "I mean, I think so."

"But what does she want me to play?" he thought out loud, a backwards way of asking me to suggest something.

"Um...she probably wants a love song," I told him.

"Oh, that narrows it down," he said with a smile, making me chuckle, because he had a point.

"Georgia, please," I told him. I always ask him to play Georgia, because I love it, and I love his voice, and I love him.

He rolled his eyes. "I should have known."

But he knew it like the back of his hand.

Nothing in the world could change the way I feel about this one perfect human being.

———
two days later

Good news: I'm feeling a lot better.

Bad news: My boyfriend has the flu.

The roles have been reversed, except I still have a touch of the flu, so I'm having a much harder time being his caregiver when I'm also trying to care for myself. However, he has the worse end of it at this point.

I've quarantined him in my apartment, because we might as well not spread this any more than we need to. He's reluctant to let me do anything for him, but he's so lackadaisical that he can't really put up a good fight.

The only good thing that's come of this is that since we know we both have the flu, he's convinced me that it's okay if we touch each other. We kissed for the first time in three days, right after brushing our teeth, but we're not planning on doing it again. It feels icky. But I will concede that it feels good to have him hold me, especially when I feel like absolute garbage. We're probably just prolonging our illnesses, but I don't care.

I'm leaving for New York in three days, and he's already missed stuff due to this sickness, so we need to be healed. And fast.

"When I said I wanted to take a break from being busy, I didn't really mean like this," he said as we laid in my bed, which is pretty much the only thing we've done all morning. I like laying in my bed with him, but this is the worst possible way.