I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 71

The door to the hospital room opens. Ben rushes into the room. Tears in his eyes while he looks at Joe.
"I'll leave you two to it," Gwil says before patting Ben's back. He shoots Joe a smile before leaving the room.
"J-joe." Ben manages to choke out. The first tears make their way down his face.
"That's me." Joe simply says.
"I thought I lost you," Ben says before wrapping his arms around Joe. Which is slightly difficult because Joe is still laying in bed. He continues sobbing while burying his head in the crook of Joe's neck.
"It's not that easy to get rid of me. I did promise you that I would never leave you, didn't I?" Joe grins while moving his non-broken arm so he can rub his hand over Ben's back.
"Can we move so we can cuddle better?" Joe asks. Ben nods eagerly in Joe's neck before moving off of the bed.
"Tell me how. I don't want to hurt you." Ben says. Joe taps his finger on his chin while he thinks about it.
"Just lay on your back." He says after a while. He moves so Ben can follow his instruction

As soon as Ben lays down Joe curls up into his side. They stay like that for minutes on end. Joe rubs small circles on Ben's torso to calm him down. After some time Ben finally stops sobbing. Some small tears still glide over his cheeks.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you woke up," Ben says while wrapping his arm around Joe. That is the moment he realises how much he missed that feeling.
"You are here now. That is all that matters." Joe says before burying his head deeper into Ben's chest.
"I- I had my first appointment with a psychologist," Ben whispers. 
"Really? That's good." Joe looks up at Ben with a smile on his face.
"You don't think it's lame that I looked for help?" Ben's eyebrows furrow while he looks at Joe.
"Of course not. I think it's a good choice," Joe says before grabbing Ben's hand into his own.
"Gwil told me to do it. He said you would want me to," Ben says while intertwining his fingers with Joe.
"Well, he is not wrong there," Joe says before looking up again.
"I'm proud of you, sweetheart," Joe says. He inches up in bed a little so he can lock their lips together. Ben is a bit taken aback by the sudden kiss but quickly melts into it. He forgot how much he missed the feeling of Joe's lips pressed against his. That's why he tries to let the kiss last a little longer.

After they pull away Joe lets himself rest on Ben's torso again.
"I didn't even ask how you are you doing. Any pain?" Ben asks while running his hand over Joe's back.
"Just a headache and my arms hurt a little," Joe says. The door opens and Rami rushes in.
"Ben, can I maybe talk to you really quick?" Joe can feel Ben's hand becoming a little sweaty. So, without making it to noticeable he starts to rub small circles on the back of Ben's hand.
"I'm not leaving Joe's side any time soon. So, only if it can here." Ben wraps his arm tighter around Joe to emphasise his words.
"Look, I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I wasn't my place too. Your words just really hurt." Rami says. Ben avoids his gaze for a few seconds before looking back at Rami.
"I shouldn't have said that about Lucy. I'm sorry Rami." Ben says. He squeezes Joe's hand slightly. Joe squeezes back to let him know that he is there for him.
"It's not that. That was not nice, but that other thing hurt me more." Rami says while looking at the ground.
"Wait, what? What did I say?" Ben's eyebrows furrow while he looks at Rami with a puzzled look. Joe recognizes a hint of worry in his voice.
"You told me that I didn't know what it felt like to have a loved one dying because it's my own fault," Rami says. He looks away from the two in bed. Instead, his gaze is fixated on the tip of his shoes. Ben wriggles himself from under Joe. He steps out of bed to walk over to Rami. The latter doesn't look up when he hears Ben approaching. It's when Ben wraps his arms around Rami that the latter moves his head to place it on Ben's shoulder.
"I am sorry that I said Rami. I don't even remember saying it. It the worse thing I could ever say to you. I am so sorry." Ben says while rubbing his hand over Rami's back.
"It's okay. I am sorry for ignoring you the past week. I should have been there for you." Rami says before finally wrapping his arms around Ben.

Joe just lays there and watches the two having their moment when he suddenly realizes that Gwil should be in the waiting room. As quietly as he can he gets out of bed to tiptoe out of the room. Joe holds his finger in front of his mouth when he meets Ben's worried eyes. Without saying anything he asks Ben to stay quiet. As soon as he steps out of his room he sees Gwil sitting in a chair in the waiting room. Head in his hand. His shoulders are shaking violently. Joe walks over to him without saying anything. When Gwil came in his room earlier he noticed that there was something wrong. He couldn't quite put his finger onto it.
"Hey." Joe softly says as soon as he sits down. Gwil doesn't seem to notice Joe's presence. Joe can hear the sobs coming from him. It breaks his heart to see his best friend like that.
"Gwil, darling," Joe says before placing his hand onto Gwil's knee. The latter jumps up from the sudden touch.
"Sorry, didn't see you." Gwil's voice sounds husky and broken.
"Are you okay?" Joe asks while rubbing his hand over Gwil's back. He sees Ben's head coming around the door of his room. As subtle as possible he tries to shake his head. He thinks that Gwil might hold back if Rami and Ben join them.
"No." Gwil sighs out loud. He rubs his hands over his faces a few more times before looking up at Joe. The latter swallows hard when he sees the bloodshot eyes that scream exhaustion.
"What is wrong?" Joe says while tilting his head slightly.
"I don't even want to talk about it." Gwil sighs before rubbing his hand over his eyes again.
"Should I call your girlfriend? She might calm you down a little?" Joe suggests. The first response he gets is a sob from the man on his right.
"Which girlfriend?" Gwil asks.
"Eve- wait did you two break up?" Joe asks. His eyes are wide while he watches Gwil.
"She broke up with me," Gwil says before trying to dry off his wet face with the sleeves of his hoodie.

**************
Hey Friend,

The drama is not over, yet (apparently).  I guess I just love drama but don't worry there will be coming fun scenes too. Just give it a chapter or two.

I am in the middle of my exam weeks. It's very stressful and I'm really trying to use writing as breaks but it gets hard sometimes. That's why I might not be able to update You Don't Fool Me until Friday because I need to write a new chapter for that instead of editing an already written chapter. I'll try to work it in tomorrow but I can't promise anything.

Have a good day/night. Take care of yourselves.

Goodbye,

Xx Itsametaphorjoe