I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 63

"Are you going to promise that you won't get mad because I kept this from you?" Ben asks. He starts biting on his nails, but Joe is quick to grab his hand and intertwine their fingers.
"I won't get mad. Please, baby, just tell me what is wrong so I can help you." Joe holds his head to one side a little while he looks at Ben.
"I-I have been having nightmares for quite a while now." Ben blurts out without even thinking twice about it. He looks up at Joe for a second. Only to see a mix of love and concern in Joe's eyes.
"What happens in them?" Joe asks while he rubs his thumb over the side of Ben's hand.
"They vary. Some start as a normal day. Some are with my dad. They always end the same though. You leave me for some reason." Ben says. Joe can see that there is more and waits for Ben to start speaking again. Which he does after a minute: "Most of the times you leave me because I am not good enough for you. I try so hard Joe." Ben whispers the last part. A single tear rolls down his cheek. Joe uses his thumb to wipe it away.
"You are perfect for me. I couldn't wish for anyone else. You're damn sexy. You know that I think that you're the most beautiful man on earth. Inside out. Look here at my finger. I haven't taken my ring off for a single second since you put it there. We have been together for such a long time and we are going to be together for an even longer time. I won't leave you. I don't know what I would do with my life if we would break up. I love you way too much for that." At his last words, Joe uses his finger to lift Ben's head. He immediately connects their lips as soon as he gets the chance.

"When did these start Ben?" Joe asks after he pulled away.
"After the thing with my dad. They started every now and then, but they became more frequent after a while." Ben says. He looks down at his fingers again. Joe's mouth falls open at the words.
"Ben that was almost a year ago. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Joe says. Ben closes his eyes before shaking his head.
"Embarrassed mostly." Ben chokes out.
"You don't have to be embarrassed about it, Ben. It's the same with me and my anxiety attacks. You can't really do anything about it. I would be more than happy to help you." Joe places his hand on Ben's knee. Ben wipes away the tears that are rolling down his cheeks.
"Sorry." He whispers.
"Don't be sorry. Do you promise me that you will wake me up the next time you have had a nightmare? I want to be there for you." Joe asks. Ben nods but keeps looking down at his fingers. Joe wraps his arm around Ben and pulls him into his chest.

They stay like that for uncountable minutes. Joe rubs circles onto Ben's back while the latter lets go of a few tears. Neither of them says anything. They just hold onto each other. Ben crooks his head into Joe's neck while he lays mostly on top of Joe.
"Sssh, you're okay." Joe whispers after some time. Ben hums in response. He keeps his eyes closed while he sharply inhales Joe's smell. Something that always calms him down almost immediately.
"Thank you." Ben says. His words are mostly muffled by Joe's shirt. The latter, however, understands exactly what Ben says.
"Anything for you, baby." Joe moves his head so he can plant a kiss on top of Ben's head.
"What about we go and lay down on the bed? We didn't sleep that much last night." Joe says after awhile. Ben nods into his neck before rolling off of Joe. He tries his best not to lay too much of his weight on one part of Joe while he does.

A few minutes later Joe walks out the bathroom to say Ben laying on the bed. He had tugged his shirt over his head. Joe bites his lip while he looks at Ben's exposed torso.
"Fuck, you are hot." He says before leaning down to kiss Ben. His hands roam Ben's chest before stopping at his waist. Ben melts into the kiss. With one of his hands, he pushes Joe onto his front while his other plays with the little hairs at the back of Joe's head. When Joe pulls away for air Ben uses the opportunity to take of Joe's shirt. Ben groans softly while he looks Joe up and down.
"Perfect." He mumbles before pulling Joe into a kiss again. His hands are slowly making their way to the waistline of Joe's sweats.

******************

Ben wakes up on the couch from his phone ringing. He groans while he shifts around. It takes him a few seconds to remember why he is sleeping on the couch. It was almost a week after his engagement with Joe. The latter when out with Lucy for the night. Ben wasn't feeling like going to a club so he stayed home. He decided to wait for Joe to come back on the couch and must have fallen asleep. His hand moves over the table to find his phone. It is Rami who is calling home.
"Morning Rami." Ben groans.
"Hey, can you ask Lucy how late she is going to be home?" Rami asks.
"Euhm Rami. Lucy isn't here. Neither is Joe. I thought they crashed at yours last night." Ben says. He jumps up from the couch to check the bedroom. Just to be sure. He finds it completely empty.
"Wait, what? You mean both of them didn't c-" Ben can't hear the rest of Rami's words because it is interrupted by someone banging on his front door.
"Hang on Rami. Give me a second." With his phone still in his hand, Ben jogs over to the door. When he looks through the little glass hole in the door he sees Gwil standing behind it. He hops on his feet and brings his hand up to bang on the door again. Ben opens the door as quickly as possible.
"They have got them." Gwil launches himself in Ben's arms.
"What are you talking about Gwil?" Ben pushes Gwil away from him a little so he can look him in the eye.
"They have Lucy, Joe and Eve." Gwil rattles while he lets himself fall onto the couch. He buries his head into his hands.
"Who is they Gwil? Who is they?" Ben says while squatting in front of Gwil. He puts his phone against his ear once again.
"Rami, come to my house as quickly as possible." He says before ending the call.
"Who is they?" Ben repeats his question when Gwil doesn't answer it. The latter's chest rises and falls in a quick tempo.
"Paul and I think your father." Gwil whispers. 

**********
Hey lovies,

It would be unlike me if I wouldn't leave you on a cliffhanger, right? I know this one is very cruel but I will make up for it. Some time.

Anyways, I hope you had a nice few days last week. The next chapter (and the first chapter of my new fanfiction) will be uploaded somewhere in the new  year.

Have a good day/night. I love y'all. Take good care of yourself.

Goodbye,

Xx Itsametaphorjoe

Teaser of 'You don't fool me':  What happens when both Gwil and Ben, a happy couple, fall in love with their best friend and coworker. They find out that Joe hasn't been completly honest about some things. He is in a long term relationship that he can't get out of. Are Ben, Gwil and their best friend Rami able to help him? The biggest question for Ben and Gwil, does Joe feels the same about them? Will all of this be in the way of making a good movie about Queen?