I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 12

After watching a movie Joe turns off the light. Leaving both of them in complete darkness. It stays silent for a while but they both know the other isn't asleep yet. Joe is the first one to talk again: "Did you really mean what you said to Mason?" It stays silent for a little bit. Joe turns his head to the side, hoping that is can get a glance of Ben's face in the little bit of light that found its way around the curtains. Despite that, he sees nothing but the silhouette of the man laying next to him.
"What part?" Ben finally asks.
"The part about me." Ben sighs and for a moment Joe's mind is racing. Did Ben lie about everything? Joe starts toying with the hem of his shirt. 
"Every single word." Joe feels his eyes getting bigger with the second. Has he heard it right?
"Really?" Ben tries to see Joe's reaction, but he fails. 
"Yes, really." The room fills with silence again. Both of their minds are racing. Trying to come up with something to say.

"You want me to be your boyfriend?" Joe shuts his eyes. He grabs his blanket tightly. His mouth slowly gets dry. He feels the nervous feeling boiling up again.
"Yes, I do." When Joe doesn't say anything Ben gets up. He grabs his phone and walks towards the door. Right before he grabs the doorknob he turns around. 
"You probably think I am weird right now. I am sorry. I'll leave." He opens the door. After stepping through the door he stands there for a few seconds. He hopes with all his heart Joe would say something but when he doesn't he shuts the door. 

When he walks over to his own room he can feel tears welling up in his eyes. He doesn't even try to stop them. Gwil wasn't right. Joe doesn't love him. He should have known he didn't have a single chance. He feels himself getting so nauseous that he runs over to the toilet and throws up. His hands search for support on everything he can grab ahold of. Once he is done he closes his eyes and sits down for a while. The whole day plays in front of his eyes once again. He starts to see every single mistake he made. With every move, he starts to think of the way he should have done it. After a while, he stands up. He feels weak. His body feels drained of any energy that had been in him during the whole day. He tries to think of anything else while he brushes his teeth. Which doesn't help. Somehow his mind finds a way to bend everything back to Joe. Or worse the date itself. He ruined the chances to be with the man he loved for months. And all because he thought he had a chance. Once he is finished in the bathroom he let himself fall onto the bed. Which squeaks under the sudden impact.

After a few minutes, his hotel room door opens. Ben doesn't even bother to look up. He pretends to be asleep. It has to be one of the cast or crew members. Only they have the right to ask a key for the other rooms in case of emergencies. Instead of saying anything the person lays next to Ben, wrapping his arms around the blonde and pushing them in their chest. For a second he hopes it is Joe but he immediately shrugs it off as this person is a lot taller than the man of his dreams.
"What did he do to you?" From the voice coming from behind him, Ben is positive that it is Gwil.
"It was a disaster Gwil. A straight up disaster." Ben moves away from Gwil to lean his back against the headboard.
"What happened?" Gwil follows Ben's movements and lies against the back of the bed. Ben explains briefly what happened. He leaves almost all of the details out. After he finishes his story the room falls silent. Gwil doesn't know what to say. Normally he was a person who almost always could give some advice, but now he doesn't know what to say. 

"Is there anything that I can do?" Gwil says after a while. 
"No, I don't think so. I just need to figure out what I am going to do." Ben looks away from Gwil and instead focuses on a spot on the wall. 
"Do you want me to go or stay here?" Gwil eyes the door before looking back at Ben. Who looks miserable in Gwil's opinion. Stains from tears have gathered all over Ben's face and clothes. His hair is all messy. Ben interrupts Gwil's thoughts when he starts speaking: "I'd rather be alone if you don't mind. But can you maybe pick me up when you are going to breakfast? I don't want to face Joe alone."
"That's alright with me. Text me when you need anything. Goodnight Ben." Gwil pats Ben's back before getting off the bed.
"Night Gwil." Ben Buries his head in his pillow again. He has stopped crying but his headache is worse than ever. He knows that he will not be able to fall asleep. So he gets up. In his bathroom, he grabs a painkiller and his sleep medicine. He doesn't use it that often but when he hasn't slept well for a few days his doctor advised him to take one pill. Ben grabs two pills out of the bottle and swallows them dry together with the pain killer. He jumps in bed, rolling himself in the blankets. He slowly drifts asleep due to the higher doses of sleep medicine.

While Ben was almost asleep Gwil stood in front of Joe's room. He wants to talk to Joe but he knows he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about everything Ben told him. So instead he walks across the hall. Knocking on Rami's door. It takes a few knocks before Rami opens the door. Gwil chuckles at the mr. Robot shirt Rami is wearing.
"I think this means that either Joe and Ben are fucking each other brains out in Ben's room and you can't sleep or the date went completely wrong." Rami says rubbing his hand through his eyes, clearly woken up by Gwilym.
"At the moment I would rather say it is the first one. But unfortunately, it is the second one." Gwil lets his hand run through his hair.
"Oh god, what happened?" Rami looks more concerned now. His eyebrows slowly deepen.
"I think it is best that I don't tell you right now. Don't worry I will tell you everything that I know tomorrow. But for now, I need you to make sure Joe is okay."

"Euhm okay? Do you have an idea how?" Rami pushes his lips together like a fish. It is a thing he often does when he needs to think about something.
"You can hear him crying when you walk past his room. Just say that you were on your way down for some reason and walked past his room."
"Alright, I will keep you up to date." Rami and Gwil both walk together towards Joe's room again. Only Gwil walks into his own room across from Joe. Right before Gwil closes the door he sees Rami knocking on the door. He keeps looking through the little hole in the door. After a few seconds, he can see the door opening. He can't see Joe as he probably is hiding behind his door. Rami makes a lot of hand gestures while talking. After he is done he steps into the room. The door closes and Gwil can't see what is happening anymore. He lays back in bed again, trying to sleep again. He turns his phone to full volume in case either Rami or Ben tries to contact him. Slowly he starts to fall asleep. 

******************

Hi my loves!

I was just wondering where are you all from? 

I hope you liked this chapter. A lot of drama, I know. I love some good drama though. 

By the way, I love all those comments and IG messages about this story. They really make my day. So, please comment. You make me so happy with those.

Xx Itsametaphorjoe