45 - Uncertain

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Monday morning. I usually hate Monday's but I'm in serious need of a distraction right now. I stroll down the school hallway and go to my locker.

"Woah, what's going on sweets?" Carter asks me as he shows up beside my locker.

"Is it that obvious?" I ask as I take in my appearance. I'm wearing one of my oversized hoodies and shorts barley visible under my hoodie. I have bags under my eyes and my hair is supposed to be in a messy bun but its really just in a pile at the top of my head.

"I mean..." He stutters. I sigh and lean against my locker. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Opal pops up from behind Carter. "She's fine! Aren't you Nat?" She says nodding vigorously at me.

"Yeah?" I answer.

"Okay, well, I'll see you at lunch." He yelled out as we walked away.

"Nat you look like you haven't slept in a week." Opal tells me when we arrive in the bathroom. "You know if you are pregnant you can't keep going on like this." She whispers as she looks me in the eyes. "Plus Jonah would probably kill Nate and Carter if he came back seeing they haven't taken care of his girlfriend." She smirks and I let out a smile laugh.

"Wait so who is pregnant with Jonah, the famous football players baby?"

I spin around to find no one other than Madison Shankle.

My life is over, Jonah will hate me, everyones going to know, I'm going to be the slut of the year, oh no.

"No one." Opal says as she flips her hair over her shoulder matching Madison's attitude.

"And Natasha is still his girlfriend?" She asks and I nod. "I told you that you weren't good enough for him and that he would sooner or later cheat." She rolls her eyes as she walks to the sink. "Where do you think he is now? Obviously cheating. I mean, come on, did you seriously think you were good enough for Jonah West? Bullshit." She giggles. "Anyways! Tootles!" She says as she sways her hips and walks out of the bathroom.

Tears slip down my face at a fast rate but I wipe them and shake my head.

"Nat-" Opal starts.

"No she's right, I'm not good enough for him." I sigh and walk out the bathroom.


C A R T E R ' S POV

I feel bad for Jonah. And Natalia for that matter. Last time Jonah has to do one of these jobs, it didn't end well for him or his girlfriend. She completely transferred schools and he went M.I.A for a month and he was broken. Him being with Nat is the happiest I've ever seen.

"Fuck." Nate breathes from beside me.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Did you see Opal today?" He asks with his head in his hands.

"Shut up about her, go and talk to her." I roll my eyes. I am tired of hearing Nate go on and on about Opal. Its been like what... 2 months? He is in love with her.

"Nah, you know I can't." He says as he runs a hand through his hair. "She doesn't like me anymore."

"What are you ten?" I ask. "Tell her how you feel you are a big boy now." I shove him.

"How do you think Nat is holding up?" He asks and I sigh.

"I'm not so sure." I admit. "Just hope history doesn't repeat itself."

***

N A T A L I A ' S POV

"Hi honey how was school?" My dad asks from the kitchen as I walk through the door.

"Same old same." I sigh and make my way to my room.

I shut the door behind me and sigh. I should just lock myself up in here. Like a princess in her tower waiting for her prince to come. Except I'm not a princess. I'm not good enough to be a princess.

I hate the fact that I can literally feel my depression coming back.

I've been so happy lately I haven't taken any of my pills I mean what would I need them for? I've been completely happy for the past year I didn't think anything would change so I flushed them.

I can't tell my dad how my life is spiraling into literal hell because that would bring up more anxiety. Then there would be Corbyn who would be all judging and making his stupid jokes that don't help at all.

Everything is wrong. Everything is going to hell.

I mean, should I just give up? Move to California, have the baby and give it up for adoption?

No, I love Jonah too much and he would hate me for giving up our child like that.

Should I call him? Maybe. That's a good idea.

I slowly pick up my phone and call dial his number. My finger hovers over the call button for a moment.

What am I even going to say? I question. Holy heck, let me just get this over with.

The phone rings and rings but no one picks up.

"Hey, its Jonah, sorry you couldn't reach me but leave a message after the beep!" His voice says as the phone beeps.

"Uhm, hey." I say and sigh. Should I just spill it out? Whatever he probably won't listen to it. "So life isn't that great. My depression is coming back, Maddie told me I wasn't good enough for you, and that you were probably cheating on me right now. I don't want to believe it and I don't but how can I not start to think that when you leave for a week with an undisclosed location? I don't know. But uhm, Im staying healthy if I am growing a baby inside me." I lied. I haven't eaten since. Why am I lying to him? "I miss you, kind of need you right now, but I love you." I say and quickly hang up the phone.

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A/N ; so what's up i just started school so SORRY for not updating but you may be confused but let me explain the reason nat is reacting this way. she is just like me and emotionally attached person. they can leave for one week and you will feel completely lost or as if they were leaving you to hurt you which isn't the case jonah left for undisclosed (yet) reasons so don't get mad at her for crying and also jonah's reaction is fueling the fire of 'does he no longer love me' which is what's going on in her mind- ANYWAYS you will understand more next chapter which will hopefully be out soon ! 

dedicated to ; my COMMENTORS YALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME EACH COMMENT MAKES ME SMILE LIKE A CRACKHEAD

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