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documentary 1- the hate
"hey guys! it's kenzie and annie!" kenzie said to the camera.
"today we are introducing y'all to our series, called-"
"secret lives." they both said.
"this series is when we talk about how we were able to keep both our pregnancies secret. our families and friends will come on as well, talking about their point of view." kenzie said.
"this isn't going to be super fun, but it's how we really feel and how our lives was/are." annie said, not smiling, but holding her semi large belly. this was filmed when annie was 5 months pregnant, but they started this series when she was 4 months.
"now, this first episode is about the hate. first we are going to talk about hate individually, then our boyfriends and close friends will talk about it." kenzie said, then the video changed to just her.
"how did you feel when people found out your had a baby at 17?" the interviewer asked.
"i knew it was coming. the video we posted became #1 fast, and we even disabled the comments. when i saw the comments roll in on mine and johnny's posts, i saw many amazing and supportive friends and family, but then there were those comments saying, fuck you or you deserve to be in hell and even went so far to talk about my daughter, saying she's a bastard child or even you should've been aborted which broke my heart. i felt empty, and fell into a depressing state i didn't let anyone see. i was so focused on our daughter, i forgot to take care of myself. when i was away from anyone else, i would just cry and feel like i wasn't good enough for my daughter, for my family. people would message me to go to hell, kill myself and my daughter. people even threatened to come and kill me and my family, which led to us going to police. we kept that part private, only to me and my family. i was only 17, and my boyfriend was 18. we were still teens, and had a baby and owned a house. it was, crazy. i actually at one point believed the haters, that i was a slut, i should die, my daughter deserves better, and it took me years to talk to my now fiancé, johnny. after having our second child, ezra, i knew i should tell him about it." kenzie said deeply, then it switched over to johnny.
"kenzie opened up to me after we had ezra. i knew something was going on and when i asked her about it, she'd just brush it off. i never wanted to pressure her into telling me, i waited till she told me. it's more genuine when she came to me and opened up rather then me forcing her to tell me. and once she told me, everything made sense. after our miscarriage before ezra, she wasn't the mackenzie i knew, i loved her still, but something happened. she was still putting on a brave face around gabriella, but i know she was just very depressed. but then, after a couple of months of trying to get pregnant, she took a test and then, she was pregnant with ezra. the light in her eyes, i will never forget, was finally there again, like it was when we found out she was pregnant with johnathan. everyone saw it, it was that spark and we knew she was happy again, her true self. i saw the mackenzie i first knew, and love." then it turned to maddie ziegler.
"my sister told me about her struggles just last month, and i wished i knew about it sooner." maddie said, tearing up and then wiping a tear. "she- um, told me about once looking at a razor, and for a split second, s-she wanted to cut herself after the miscarriage. we cried, mostly me but, no sister wants to hear their sister talk to you about how they wanted to cut themself. people go online and see her beautiful life. she owns and lives in a large home, lavish cars, expensive fashion, but they don't see the mackenzie inside. every time i go to their house, it's like every other house with a toddler and a newborn you know? the toys everywhere, kitchen full of baby things, stuff everywhere and my sister and johnny looking like they haven't slept in months. they are amazing parents, a-and it hurts you know to see your sister go through so much, while trying to work everyday all day, while still being a mom 24/7. now she's truly herself, and is happy." maddie said, crying. "can i have a tissue?" she asked someone, who handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes. now it went back to kenzie.
"me and annie both were in very bad places of our lives we didn't tell people. you think i was bad? let annie tell you her story." kenzie said, then it went to annie.
"what people don't know about me was that, this pregnancy wasn't my first. when i was 16, like kenzie, i got pregnant. i will admit, i was a slut for cheating on my boyfriend with my ex, and then getting pregnant. it was my boyfriend's, but that's not the end of the story. i had a miscarriage. i didn't even know i was pregnant with twin boys, but i was. it was too late for me to find out. both twins died, and it made me want to die. on social media, you see the good parts of our lives. but what you don't know was that i tried to kill myself. one time, i took some pills and woke up, having these flashbacks of me, um, sorry i-"
"tissue?" an assistant asked.
"yeah, thanks." annie thanked her, then wiped away some tears and fidgeted with the piece of paper. "i-i was cutting my wrist. i won't go too much into detail, but then after the miscarriage, i slit them, again." annie said, then started crying.
"and stop the camera. stop it!" the director yelled, as the camera turned off and moved away from annie. then the video showed hayden.
"no matter what annie did, i was so in love with her. i still am, no doubt, but back then i was just angry. but when i heard what happened, i didn't care about the past. she spent time with me in texas, weeks not talking. i felt like i couldn't help her, but i tried. she blamed herself for the miscarriage, but it wasn't her fault. after two weeks, she tried to hurt herself again. it was like i was useless, i couldn't help her once we got to the hospital. i just wanted her to be ok." hayden said, then held back his tears.
"it didn't help that the media was trying to pry themselves into our lives. i hate the media, a lot of the times. sure it's where my platform is on half of the time, but it sucks. it fucking sucks. i just what to yell, get the hell out of my life! you know? but again, it's where i am today. that's why me and hayden wanted everything to be private. i remember this one time, after everything happened i worked again and as i walked out of the meeting, my guards were by me but a sworm of paparazzi surrounded me, and this one guy went so far that he pulled my skirt, which whacked me back and immediately flashed that camera in my face, taking pictures of me, right in my face. i threw his camera down, not knowing it was still on his which made him fall on the ground and ended up breaking his nose. he sued me but didn't win." annie explained.
"do you regret it or forgive him?"
"absolutely not. i was simply protecting myself. i don't regret it at all. nor do i forgive him. no one should do that to anyone. i felt like an object, and no one wants to feel that way. if i could say something to him right now, i'd tell him, shame on you for thinking you can treat someone like that. it was sexual harassment since he pulled my skirt, making him touch and grope my ass." annie finished off, then the camera cut to both her and kenzie.
"this is just the beginning." kenzie started.
"every week on sunday, 2 pm est there will be a video on this channel." annie started again.
"this will be a very personal series. things we've barley shared to our friends. this is where we open up about what happens behind the camera." kenzie said, then the video ended.
