Our Secret | Taejin✔️

Let Him Go

Taehyung's Pov:

Jin had passed out. I had him rushed to the hospital and watched as the doctors pump the alcohol out of him. I had informed them that I just found out about his pregnancy. I was yet to be updated on the status of the baby. They had told me that Seokjin would be fine.

Unwillingly I had called on Jimin to watch Bleu. Seokjin needed me right now. I had to leave her. I guess this what my mother had to do when my dad needed her. She had to leave me, not because she wanted to, but because my father needed her as well.

My entire world was crumbling, and no one was to be blamed but myself. I had caused all of this. As soon as the doctors had taken Seokjin. I called my therapist, and she rushed over. I was now sitting with her as she looked at me with shock. Something I never saw on her face before. She usually kept herself very composed around me.

"Taehyung, what do you mean Seokjin is pregnant again?" Before I could answer she continued, "He just had a baby. How can he be pregnant already? Do you know how many months he is?" I shake my head in shame.

"Taehyung, your daughter is not even four months as of yet, and he's pregnant already? That can't be good."

"He doesn't want the baby," I said as tears start to fall down my face. "He doesn't want Bleu or me either."

"Do you blame him? Taehyung, Seokjin just had a baby. One you told me he wanted to get rid of before. I don't think you understand this, but mentally, he is not prepared to have another. He's probably going through postpartum from having your daughter, and now with being pregnant, this can't be good on him. Plus I am sure you are still demanding. That can drive a person mad Taehyung. Not to mention what he has endured with you in the past. I don't think he hates you or Bleu; I do, however, think he's in a lot of pain. While you are on your road to being healed. Seokjin isn't being given that opportunity, especially when you are being selfish with him. Taehyung I told you before you are hurting him as much as you are trying to healing yourself. You are putting your pain onto him, and it's unfair to him.

Then you have him locked up in your home and trapped with your daughter. Taehyung anyone in his situation would go crazy. I can understand why he doesn't want this baby. I don't think it's the baby he hates. I believe it is the idea of being further trapped that bothers him. You treat him like a property rather than a person. You don't own him. The people that hurt you Taehyung aren't Seokjin. Seokjin is innocent."

"I know, I know. I have been doing better, and I swear I haven't put my hand on him. I am trying. I am afraid the moment I give him the freedom he will want to leave me. I don't want him to leave me. I do love him. I love our daughter. I want to marry him, June."

"Taehyung I think we have had enough sessions. I think you know what you need to do. You might love him, but does he feel like you love him? You don't trap someone you love because you fear they'll leave. If you fear they'll leave, then you must know what you are doing is wrong. You are forcing him to care for you. You are forcing him to love you. Everything you are doing to Seokjin is similar to what has been done to you. They forced you to make them touch you. They forced you to kiss them. They forced you to keep everything they did to you as a secret. Look at all the horrid things they have done to you and how you turned out. Is that the same thing you want for Seokjin? Is that how you want to show him you love him?

Stop hiding and start facing your pain. Stop inflicting your scars onto an innocent person. You'll never truly be happy doing this. You get the best in life-destroying someone else's life. Right now by your actions, I don't see you as someone in love with Seokjin. I see you as being obsessed with him. You see him as a possession rather than as a person. Taehyung he is in the hospital right now with a baby we don't even know if it's alive all because of you. What more is it going to take for you to wake up? I thought Bleu would've changed you."

"Bleu did change me. She did make me want to be a better person." At that moment it hit me, Seokjin said he felt neglected. I finally knew what he meant. I had given my attention to Bleu, making her my focus, but not once caring about his pain or how he was feeling. The only affection I showed him was sex. When I went home in the days, I barely asked how he was; I just cared focused on our daughter.

Even when he looked exhausted and I saw it. I brushed it off and tended to Bleu. I had become so focused on giving my daughter the care my father never gave me that I didn't realize I was treating Seokjin the same-way he treated my mother.

"June, why don't I get nothing right?" I asked her as I hurried my face into my hands.

"Honestly, Taehyung until you start owning your behaviors and stop using your past as an excuse, you won't get anything right. I think it's time you start owning up to your actions and apologizing for them. If you want Seokjin, you need to treat him as a human being and not like a slave. I don't believe he hates any of you. He's just hurting as anyone in his situation would be. If you truly love him, you will pull yourself together and show him you love him. I don't know how you are going to do it though. It's time you put on your big boy pants and figure it out. If you can't, then, maybe you should just let him go." June said and walked out of the room.

Let him go? I can't do that. I think I'll end up dying if I ever have to live without Seokjin. He was my entire universe, my hope, the person I love the most in this whole world. As much as our daughter meant to me. The love I had for Seokjin supersedes the love I have for her.

Why hadn't I done things differently? I was trying my best to, but then he threatened to leave me, and I lost it. He made my entire life better and then out of nowhere; he wanted to leave me. Thinking back, I should've spoken to him. I shouldn't have put my hands on him. My god, I am so horrible.

Thinking back to all I have put him through, I can see why he'd want to leave. I saw it in his eyes tonight. The way he looked at me when he spoke. The Seokjin I knew would never say he doesn't care about our daughter. When he said, he hated me. I saw that he meant it. He was speaking his truth. The truth he had kept buried deep down while he put up with me and my abusive and possessive behavior.

Maybe I genuinely don't deserve him. I can't think of a time I have ever shown him that I actually cared about him. Within a few weeks of having our baby, I slept with him opening up his stitches; I'm a real monster the more I think about it. He has been right this entire time.

June is right. Seokjin shouldn't have been pregnant already. His body isn't even appropriately healed to carry another baby.

What have I done? How do I even fix this? I'm sure he just wants his freedom at this point, and it breaks my heart, knowing that. I know once I give him his freedom, he is going to leave me. I don't want him to leave me. I want us to marry and build our family together. Is that so selfish of me?

I just want one more chance, that's all I need to prove to him that I can be normal. That can be a human being and not a monster.