Our Secret | Taejin✔️

Pleasure vs. Pain

Jin's Pov:

Do you know the feeling of being watched while you are sleeping? That's how I am feeling right now. I open my eyes to see Taehyung sitting across from me in the recliner opposite of our bed. He is completely naked with a just towel resting on his lap and as he looks at me with a pained expression.

Propping myself up on my elbow to get a better look at him, I wince a bit in pain as my lower half is a bit tender from last night. I feel the sting from the cut I had gotten from the glass, as I shift slightly on the bed. "Are you okay?" I asked him, confused. His expression worried me. "Did I hurt you?" he asked me without answering my question.

"No." I quickly replied. I was fine.

"Then why do you look like you are in pain?" he asked while shaking his legs. "I am just sore Taehyung, it's natural, and it's been a while." I wasn't in any insufferable pain. I didn't feel like that one time, my back was actually feeling better than it did yesterday.

He runs his hands through his hair, then leans over placing his elbows on his thighs, while resting his chin on his hand to hold his head up, "I bruised your neck, my fingerprint is on your cheek." he mumbles.

I guess all the sucking he had done had left several bruises on my neck, but it didn't hurt. The slap he had given me before everything I guess was now apparent. I slid off the bed and walked over to him, still completely naked. Once in front of him, I push him lightly back on the chair, he looks up to me as I straddle him. His hands immediately gripped my waist. The towel in his lap placed a barrier between us. His eyes watched me intently, all I saw in them were sadness and regret. "Taehyung." I called his name before taking his right hand and bring it up to my neck, allowing his fingers to trace the bruises, "These you made with pleasurable pain, I enjoyed each and every one of them, no matter how many there might be. It felt amazing." I took his hand and brought it to my cheek, as I rest his hand there, I felt a hint of pain, "this you did because of anger, this one I did not enjoy, and it did not bring me pleasure, but rather it brought me pain and hurt." I saw remorse flickered through his eyes.

I dropped his hand to his side and then lean forward cupping his cheeks with my hand as I looked into his eyes, "I want you to know the difference between what brings me pleasure versus what brings me pain. I don't like it when you hit me, especially when I have done no wrong. It hurts me, it makes me want to run from you." I felt his grip on my waist tightens. "However, when you care for me like you did last night, I begin to have hope that maybe I can stay with you, maybe we can start a family. I don't know your pain deep within, I am sure you are hurting, but I never hurt you Taehyung. At least not intentionally, please don't make me suffer because of what someone else did to you. Whatever you are fighting against, please try fighting it harder. You are going to be a father, a wonderful and caring father, I hope. I want to care for you, but I can't when you love me one moment, but abusing me the next. I know trust is hard for you, but you have to learn to trust me. I am not going anywhere, the only way I will is if you keep pushing me away, you keep hiding your vulnerability from me and lashing out on me. I am not your enemy, never was. Stop making me suffer because of those who wronged you. It's not fair to me, nor is it fair to our baby. Can you try being a better person, if not for you, but for us?" I asked him as I rested his hand upon my belly.

I watched as he closed his eyes, fighting hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him, "you promise you won't leave me?" he whispers against my lips as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer, "I promise." I whispered back and laced our tongues together.

Reaching between us, I remove the towel that was separating us. Taking his member and aligning it with my hole; sinking down onto him. Which cause both us to gasp at the feeling. I rocked back and forth on him, slow and steady.

As hard as it may be, I will try to keep my promise. He needed healing, and I was okay with being the healing he needs. Call me sick, call me crazy, something within me was falling for him. I am not sure if it was the desperate cry for help that he tried so often to hide, or it was the fact that I was somehow trapped into this toxic relationship. Either way, I was staying with the father of my unborn daughter.