Feelings | Bakudeku

31 - I'm Fine

Katsuki's POV

It's been a few days since Deku told me how he has been feeling. I've given it some thought and I still don't completely understand. He's not comfortable around me? What does that even mean? We have spent almost everyday together... I just don't get it. 

I haven't talked to Deku ever since. He's gone up to me a few times with his mouth hanging open as if he wanted to say something. He always ended up walking away though. 

I don't try to pay him much mind, yet that has proven to be difficult. I see the nerd almost everyday not to mention some of his stuff is along the floors of my dorm. 

I sit in class, looking out the window while rain drips down the glass. We are stuck inside doing paperwork due to the weather. I wouldn't mind usually, but this assignment is extremely boring. I lean my head backwards just thinking about it. 

When I look out the window, I feel like I'm in one of those cheesy music videos and the sad song is about to start playing. The thought makes me look forward, which wasn't my greatest idea as the nerd is sitting right there. His head is over his desk, seeming to be completely focused on it. Most people aren't working much on the papers in front of them as it's more of an optional thing. Yet there Deku is, doing the work even though it won't make up for much. That's something he'd do. 

A small smile is placed on my lips until I realize that isn't something I should be thinking about right now. My face is turned back to the emotionless expression while I can't help but look away right back to the window. 

The rain is nice, part of me wishes we still went out there, the rain oddly calms me. I'm not sure why exactly, it just does... kind of how the nerd did.

I hear a faint whisper of some person speaking, yet I assume it's my imagination. I dart my head towards the classroom once I hear something, knowing it's real. 

"Hey Bakugo, you've been staring out that window for a long time. You alright?" Shitty hair asks softly, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear.

"I'm fine" I say quietly. 

"Are you sure? You have seemed off for a few days" he questions, quirking an eyebrow up. 

"Oi, you heard me! I'm fucking fine so just leave me the hell alone'' I yell accidently, almost immediately realizing the loudness of my voice. I put a hand over my eyes, as I try not to notice most people looking at me. I lift my hands a little, to see the nerd looking straight ahead, no longer working. 

Shit. He heard.

I wait a few minutes for everyone to go back to their conversations before finally taking away my hands, hiding my eyes. I let out a sigh, confused as hell about everything. I just wish things were like before, if only things hadn't changed. I wonder what would have happened if I had done something differently. If only I knew what I was doing wrong. 

The bell rings, indicating the end of class. I put the papers on my desk into a folder and pick up my bag, getting ready to leave. I walk a little until I get to the door, I turn around and see Deku sitting there still, putting away his stuff. 

I pause out of habit, remembering things.

~~~

"Oi Deku, are you going to take the whole damn day!" I yell near the door, waiting for the nerd. 

We were the only two left in the class, as Deku takes piles of notes and gets disorganized quickly. 

"N-No Kacchan. I'll be right there." He says as he picks up his notes, he scrambles to his feet and starts walking over to me. The nerd trips over a table leg as his papers go all over the floor. 

I sigh and pick up stuff off the floor, helping him. I then take the stuff over to him and pat the top of his head. 

He blushes as I lean down a little going close to his face, letting our breath intermingle. I close the gap between us, kissing his soft tender lips. 

I break away, "Alright nerd, stop doing shit like this or I'll have to kiss you more often for being too adorable"

His face somehow goes a darker shade of red. I put my hand on his back, pushing him towards the door. 

A small smile is found upon my face as we walk to our next class together. 

~~~

Memories are memories that most likely won't happen again. I take one last look at the nerd, before exiting the room alone, going to the next place with my mind trying to suppress memories from flooding back.

If only I could go back.