Incidental Fate Book 1

43

"What would make me happy?" I coughed, inhaling a mouthful of the thick steam around us. "Right now, getting out of this shower." I forced myself up, yanking the shower lever off as Gavin pulled up behind me.

"I'll get out first," he insisted, grabbing for a towel and tossing it onto the floor before his hand shot back into the shower for mine and I took it as I stepped out.

"Be careful," he warned, watching me.

"Gavin, you need to relax. Just because it happened once, doesn't mean it will happen again. All your worrying is going to kill you." I realized my choice of words too late and hoped they wouldn't trigger anything in him. "When is Valentine's Day?"

"Next Saturday," he replied as he walked into the bedroom.

"Already?"

"Yup."

"And I'm going back to New York this weekend."

I stopped in the doorway, watching as he casually pulled his clothes back on. "What?"

"Just for a few days. I promised Giorgia I'd come out."

"Oh okay." For a moment my irrational brain thought he meant permanently, which made no sense since he still had to finish the semester.

"Want to come with me?"

"Huh, no, I have to work. But I'll try to get Valentine's Day off," I smiled.

"And what would make you happy? We can spend the entire day together."

You, just being with you would make me happy and shower sex, that would make me really happy. "The beach I guess, then maybe dinner. But I don't think we're going to be able to get reservations anywhere. I mean it's pretty last minute."

"I'll handle that, don't worry."

"Of course you will."

"The beach though?"

"Yeah, we can swim, read, hang out."

He turned his face away from me but I could still see him scowling. "Okay," he sighed. "If that's what you want."

"Are you staying here tonight? Or heading back to the hotel?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go back to the hotel with me."

I wanted nothing more but I couldn't take the chance of running into Mike. "Mike's staying there," I shrugged, as I pulled on my nightie.

"Then I'll stay here with you and head out in the morning when you leave."

"Are you sure? You have a really nice room there!"

"And an empty bed," he mumbled, walking over to me and giving me a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Okay," I smiled back. "Did I tell you I finished up the backyard the other night! Want to see it?"

"Lead the way."

I pranced out of the room, leading him to the back sliding doors and pulling them open. "What do you think?"

It was dark, but the stars shone bright enough to illuminate the colorful flowers and my new bench.

He walked out behind me, smiling at the small space then up to the twinkling stars. "I hardly see the stars here with all the fog."

It was a beautiful night and I ran back into the house and grabbed my wine, a glass, and a beer for him. He was still looking at the stars when I re-emerged. "That's right, you have a thing for stars."

"I spent a lot of time watching them when I was younger," he sighed, grabbing the beer from my hand and I walked over to the bench, patting it for him to sit next to me.

He sat down, draping his around my shoulders as I cuddled up to him. "So you were into astronomy as a kid? I have a hard time picturing that," I laughed, nestling against his rugged frame.

"Why?"

"You and your sexy, brooding, tattooed, rough, f-bomb dropping self doesn't seem like someone who studies the sky," I giggled, taking another sip of my wine.

"I wasn't studying so much as searching." He took a swig of his beer before leaning his head down on top of mine.

"What were you searching for?" I asked too quickly, knowing deep down that I already knew the answer.

"It doesn't fucking matter anymore."

I looked up to his face, seeing a mixture of pain and indifference on it as he stared at the sky and I followed his gaze just as a star shot down right above us.

"Did you see that!" I jumped, almost spilling my glass.

"Yeah, crazy!" He shrugged, taking another sip of his beer.

"Maybe the stars were searching for you."

He lowered his face, his deep eyes meeting mine. "Come here baby." He pulled me back in front of him and I bent down to meet his face, pressing my lips to his as he pulled me onto his lap. "You look so damn sexy in the moonlight by the way."

"You don't look so bad yourself Mr. Romano," I teased, nipping at his bottom lip.

"I... I had a hard time before I moved here to San Diego and you've made me feel better. Which has been good and really fucking scary at the same time. I don't want to be just some guy you're fucking. That's not all I'm good for."

"You make me happy too Gavin, it's been a long time..." If ever.. "That I've felt this way." I rested my hands against his cheeks, feeling his smile as he looked up at me. "And I don't just consider you some guy I'm fucking... I don't exactly know what this is... I just know it's more. I wish it wasn't so complicated."

"It's not."

"It is. My age, Grant- and I know those aren't issues for you but they are for me. I've spent the last eighteen years trying to make sure Grant didn't feel like he was less because he was raised by a struggling single mom, no dad. Protecting him is all I know how to do, it's just a part of me. I have enough guilt already without adding us to the mix."

"I don't think he'd care..."

"He wouldn't care that his mom is sleeping with his classmate?" I laughed. "I'm not stupid- I've seen enough movies- I know how this plays out."

"And what about me? I'm not going anywhere baby."

"I just need time to figure this all out... and you're a senior right? Graduating soon?" I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my mouth. I was discussing my boyfriend's graduation... ugh. "Want to call it a night?"

His arms wrapped over me tighter. "Do you mind if I just hold you a little longer?" He asked sheepishly as if it was a weird request.

"Of course not, you can hold me as long as you want."