Seeing Him

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The doctor wanted to speak to us. I didn't know what about, nor did I have any clue of what it could be concerning. Logan thinks it's the doctor wanting to tell us how our baby died. But I was unsure. Maybe he was going to tell us what they were going to do with him, or what they already had done.

"Do you think they are going to give us Kayden back?" I asked Logan. "Who's Kayden?" Logan asked me confused. Right, I never told him about my crazy dream a few months ago.

"I had a dream, almost seeing into our future, but by the look of it now, none of it seems to be true. I saw a little boy who resembled both of us, his name was Kayden." I said. "So you want to name our baby Kayden?" Logan asked me. "Only if you are okay with that," I said. Logan kissed my forehead and rubbed my back.

"I love the name Aria." He said giving me a small smile. "Hello guys, I am Dr.Reeves. I am here to discuss the baby." a doctor said as he entered the room. Both Logan and I nodded and the doctor walked in front of the hospital bed that both Logan and I laid in.

"So this is very rare. It happens to very few people, but you guys were very unlucky in this case. So what happened to your baby..." Dr.Reeves started to say but I cut him off. "Kayden. His name is Kayden." I mentioned. "Right, well what happened to Kayden was that his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck basically strangling him," Dr.Reeves said.

"It stopped the flow of oxygen and it leads to killing him." he finished off. "Is there any way we could have prevented this? We saw our doctor earlier before I collapsed. Couldn't she have noticed?" I asked him. "No, it can happen very quickly so there was really nothing you could do," Dr.Reeves said.

"I can't believe this happened," I muttered out. "All I wanted to do was protect him. Now I have nobody left in this world." I said grinding my teeth together. "Everybody I have ever cared about has left me. Logan, my father, my mother, even Kayden. He was supposed to be the one person in this world who wouldn't abandon me." I said letting a few tears drop.

"Now, since he was formed for the most part, would you like to see him?" Dr.Reeves asked. Before Logan could answer I stopped him. "Yes. I want to see him." I said looking at the doctor. "I must warn you. He won't look like a newborn baby." The doctor mentioned. "I don't care. I just want to hold my baby boy." I said.

"I'll go get him for you," Dr.Reeves said. "Before you leave, I wanted to know if we could take him and give him a funeral. A proper burial. I know he wasn't even born but I do want to pay my respects." I said. "You want to give him a funeral?" Logan asked me. I nodded.

"Yes. After you are done seeing him I will send him to the morgue and you may speak to the director down there if you wish or we can tell your parents and they may do it for you." Dr.Reeves said before leaving to go and get Kayden.

"Aria, are you 100% sure you want to see him?" It might make things a lot worse. Actually seeing him, as the doctor said he isn't going to look like a newborn baby, he isn't fully formed. He was only 5 1/2 months." Logan asked me. "Yes, I need to see him. And I don't really care what he looks like. He is my baby and I just want to hold him before we bury him." I stated.

"If that is what you want," Logan said in a low voice. "Hey, will you be okay for a second? I want to go speak to our parents and tell them what's going on." Logan asked me.

"Yeah. Go ahead. And once you are done, tell my mother that she needs to come in here. I want to discuss something with her." I said. "If I do tell her this, and she comes in, please don't argue with her," Logan begged. "I promise. Don't worry." I said. Logan nodded.

Logan then got up from the bed and walked out of the room. After everything that happened today, weeks later Logan told me what they had discussed in the hallway. He had told them that I wanted a funeral for Kayden and that I also wanted to see him. All of the parents were against it. Thinking that it will make things worse.

That seeing him will break me totally. As they said the same toward Logan. It was true, Logan and I were both at the breaking point. And I'm not even 100% sure myself that I can handle this. But I don't want to regret not seeing my baby at least once.

After about 10 minutes of Logan being out in the hallway, he came back in right before the doctor made his way into the room with a small blanket wrapping around something tiny.

Kayden...

"Here he is," Dr.Reeves said.

Next Update: June 21st, 2019

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