Angelic Mask-(s.m)

35

S H A W N -

"No I hate you! I never want see you again!" She screamed as she shoved me away and the disappeared out of the hallway.

What have I done?

The moment her beautiful eyes filled with tears and her lip started quivering my heart ached, but then I ruined it even more.

The moment seeing Chloe in real life, everything it just all came back. Everything hit me and so did old feelings which is why I couldn't control the words spilling out of my mouth and that actions that led to it.

I just ruined everything.

God if I could turn back time just for the last five minutes, I wouldn't have said what I said or done what I done.

Tears pouring down my face as I wiped them away before I took a deep breath and opened my door walking inside my apartment.

Chloe.

There she was sat looking so different since the last time I seen her, she grew her hair despite she said she always liked it short. She also had her nails painted and was wearing makeup when I remember she hated that stuff. But she's changed a lot, she doesn't seem like the girl I loved.

"So" I say as I sat down opposite her and she let out a sigh.

"I can't believe you did that to that poor girl" she shook her head in disappointment.

"So are we going to talk?" I asked and she sighed before she came closer and sat beside me.

"All I want to say is I'm sorry first Shawn. I really am sorry, God I felt so terrible leaving you the way I did because you were the greatest person I had ever left" she says as she took my hands in hers.

"But to tell you the truth. A few months before the wedding I was having second thoughts about the whole thing. And things happened between me and Blake which I immediately regretted. But he said that he loved me and we spent a lot of time together which was doubting my relationship with you. I know it was wrong and I should have told you the truth but then literally weeks after we got married I found out I was pregnant with Blake's baby.

I wanted to tell you so badly, but I was just a coward and decided to leave with out telling you anything which is wrong of. But I felt so horrible Shawn believe me" she explains and I took a deep breath trying to process everything.

"So you cheated on me before we were about to get married?" I say and she sighs before giving me a nod.

"I didn't have the heart to tell you because Shawn you were such a good person so I thought it would be better if I just left" she says.

"Do you know how many nights I sat blaming myself for not loving you enough and thinking that's why you left me? I sat and cried all the time, I was so upset for such a long time because I thought it was all my fault" I say and she sighed.

"I'm so sorry Shawn, I really am" she says and I shook my head.

"I thought you loved me? We were meant to be together forever" I say as I looked up at her and she smiled.

"Sometimes people fall in love, but sometimes are not meant to be together" she says and I sighed.

"Why did you come back now then?" I asked her.

"I came back to ask if we could get an official divorce" she says and I nodded.

"Well I guess we have too" I say.

"Do you still love me?" I ask her.

"Your always going to have a special place in my heart always because you were the first person I had ever loved. But I think we've grew apart but doesn't mean what we had we should forget, but it's a lesson we learnt" she explains.

"Your right, you have a place in my heart but I don't love you the way I used to because Athena's taken that" I say.

"I hope you don't hate me" she says and I shook my head.

"I don't hate you, I just wish somethings between us had happened differently" I say and she smiled.

We in silence for a few minutes and I realised with Chloe sitting right in front of me, I don't really feel what I used to.

Then I realised when I had been chasing someone who didn't love me, I had someone who did love me the whole time.

I spoke to Chloe about getting an official divorce so she could actually get married to Blake. It felt weird but she told me that she now had two kids and was happy. I didn't mind because I did want her to be happy however I was sitting here just thinking about how fucked up my life is now.

I gave her a hug and agreed to have mutual respect between us and no bad blood between us either. She left and the moment she walked out of the door I bursted into tears.

I ruined everything. I was stupid reacting the way I did when I seen Chloe, and saying those hurtful things to Athena.

I just lost the greatest person ever. All my fault.

I hate myself, I hate myself so fucking much right now.

I was so angry at myself that I picked up a picture frame and threw it across the room. I was so mad at myself, how could I ever do that to someone.

Most importantly how could I do that to Athena?

The most sweetest, kind hearted and strongest girl ever. I ruined it, everything and her.

I grabbed my phone and clicked on her contact to call her. Please pick up. I prayed in my head hoping I could talk to her at least once.

"Hey this Athena's voicemaiiiilllll ahhh- Shawn stop tickling me" I could hear the laughter from her voicemail which I remember making. My heart breaking at the sound of her soft voice that I was never going to heart again.

I couldn't explain how much my heart hurt loosing the girl that I love so much.

She loved me more than I deserved.

I promised myself to love her, keep her happy and give her the world but yet I broke that promise.

She was right I did betray her, I probably hurt her more then her own parents. I promised myself I wasn't going to be like them because she never deserved any of that, yet I was the one who treated her just like they did.

I let you in and you did the one thing I was afraid of

I just wish somebody would love me. I wish someone would actually care about. Just once.

I knew you were going to break my heart but I hoped and prayed so much you didn't because after such a long time, I was actually happy.

I hate you. 

I could hear her cracking voice as everything she said repeated in my head stabbing my heart.

I'm such and awful person, and I deserve to be hated by her. I deserve it, I completely ruined everything and ruined her.

I hurt her so much and I hated myself for that. Her eyes welling up with tears because of me.

Here I was left hopeless, there was nothing I could do because she hated me and I hate myself too for doing that too her...
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A/N: wow that last chapter got like 90 comments you all were pissed. Hahaha hope you're having a good day x