Pure Hatred

Jealousy

6:28- December 25th, 2007, Tappahanok, Virginia

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"Alright, I'll catch up with you at dinner at my mom's house tonight alright?" I spoke to my best friend Evan.

"Yeah, told you I wouldn't miss it. We better get out of here though, dinner's in like two hours and we need to get dressed and shit you know?" He laughed as we dapped eachother up. He conisders me one of the boys.

"Yeah, damn right! You know my mother doesn't fucking play when she says she wants us there at a certain timing." I laughed and hopped into my mom's car pulling out from the dance studio. Lately everything's been horrible since Christopher and I broke up. I been crying allot, like a little bitch every night almost. It seems like everything reminds me of him. From something someone says, to something I see..it all reminds me of Christopher. And sometimes during the night I think of the first time he told me he loved me, when we made love. We always promised, we'd never say we loved eachother unless we knew we did..and it took us three years. I shook my head as the tears streamed remembering our break-up. How could he do something so fucking evil? I just couldn't believe it. I decided I'd turn the radio on to help get my mind off things. Hopefully I'd stop crying,

"Most requested joint! Chris Brown, With You!" The radio host said playing the song.

"FUCK!" I shouted pulling the car over, mashing the radio off, hitting the steering wheel in frustration.

The tears kept flowing, and I let out angry groans, this could not be happening, I need to just get home. Finally I pulled it together and went home. At least all my favorite people will be there, including mom, Christopher's mom. Mom and I's bond grew tighter after the breakup, she's been trying to help me. Even though she keeps saying that there's no way possible Christopher could've done the things my sister is saying he did. In my heart I wanna believe her, but he receives money from his dad every month he told me. He calls it an allowance, but it's several hundred dollars. Now that he's eighteen I'm pretty sure he doesn't get it anymore.

"Hey Elouise, are you okay baby?" My mom asked.

"I'm fine." I sniffled pulling my scarf and jacket off, running up the steps.

I pulled out an outfit I said in a million years I'd never wear it. For one it's a little too grown and sexy, but I need something to get my mind off this pain. I grabbed the black back out skin tight long sleeved shirt, with the leggings that I bought with it, it also had slits on the outer leg of them running up and down them. I rummaged through my sister's cosmetics, finding her hair flat iron. Then, I took her eyeliner, mascara, and ruby red lipstick. Can't believe I'm about to do this. It's like I'm not even thinking I'm just grabbing. Lastly, I grabbed my mommy's timberlands and took a shower. Washing, I thought about how my mom's creamed spinach is gonna taste I smell so many great foods downstairs. Ignition, the remix played downstairs. Why are they playing an R. Kelly record on Christmas? Oh well it made me feel jolly. Stepped out the shower, dried and moisturized. Then I started putting on my underwear..if I was gonna dress sexy, and shock everyone tonight I have to do it all out. So I slipped on the black laced lingerie underwear my mom bought me, I'm case Christopher and I ever did anything. Black on black I'm guessing? Couldn't wear a bra with this type of top so looks like I'm bra-less. After I slipped my clothes on, i figured I'd do my hair. Flat ironing it bone straight, I knew I had to do my makeup. As much as I watched Sabrina do this, I'm pretty sure I could do this. When I put the mascara on, it made my eyes pop, wow! Maybe I should've worn a little makeup. After that I did my eyeliner, the bottom lid, darkening it. My eyes looked even more fierce. Finally I applied the red lipstick, and put the timbs on with my black low-cut socks. When I was done, I put everything back where I found it, sprayed some perfume and jetted down the stairs. Everyone had already started, all my friends and their parents were here, sitting at the table, including Evan. But there was three seats unoccupied. And I knew one belonged to me, so who would be seated in the other two? Seems like my thoughts would be answered once I heard the doorbell ring.