Imperfections (Zalfie)

Alfie

Everything happened so quickly. One minute we were shouting at each other, next minute we were running down the street.

Then, I saw her little, limp body, fly through the air and come in contact with the bonnet of the car as she rolled onto the ground.

She didn't move. Not a little bit. I thought it was a joke and she'd laugh before getting up and hugging me as I apologised profoundly.

It didn't happen. She didn't get up. She didn't laugh and she didn't hug me.

It's all my fault, I shouldn't have lost my temper. I shouldn't have accused her of cheating. I shouldn't have made her run.

But, she's pregnant? She thought I'd leave her? That's as bad as accusing her of cheating. I want to be the one going to appointments with her, not Niomi. I want to be there for her, for the baby.

I'd never leave her, I'd want to be apart of the babies life. I want to bring this baby up with Zoe being an amazing mother. I want to have a family with Zoe and get married and have even more children.

I want to be a father to this baby, this human we have created. We have created life.

I stand still, eyes wide with shock, hardly breathing.

I see her lying there on the ground, pale and broken. I see everyone running around me, traffic coming to a hault. What have I done?

I hear people speaking on the phones, I hear sirens. They sound distant, they don't sound normal, or close. Am I in a trance? Why can't I bring myself to move, why am I not helping her?

I feel myself being brought back to reality when I see the ambulance come into view, someone must have called it.

I rush over to her, pushing aside everyone in my way.

"Zoe" I plead, taking her small, cold hand in mine. She better not die on me.

I put my hand on her stomach. I can feel it, I can see it now. I feel the slight bump starting to grow.

I start to feel tears run down my face. I pray with everything I have in me that she will be okay, that our baby will be okay.

The paramedics rush around me, putting on a neck-brace and placing her onto a stretcher. I look at them pleadingly, hoping they'll let me get in the ambulance with her.

They nod, understandingly. I sigh and climb into the ambulance with her, grabbing ahold of her hand once again.

They started attaching needles and things to her, prodding her. I wanted to tell them to stop, but I knew they were trying to help.

I hear beeping, constant beeping. I knew that if the beeping stopped... no. I don't want to think about that, it's not going to stop, right?

Before I know it, we;ve reached the hospital and they start dragging her away from me again, but this time I can't follow.

"You're going to have to wait here sir" The nurse tells me, holding me back.

I haven't stopped crying and she looks at me with sympathy.

"I need to go with her, she's my girlfriend and she's pregnant" I sob

"I know how hard this must be for you, but we have to look after her. I'll come and get you when she is ready for visitors. Please wait in the waiting room. I'll be with you shortly" She says, holding me shoulders and looking me in the eyes.

I nodded, there is no point in protesting. I slouch a little and start to walk to the waiting room. I have no energy, I feel like I've cried it all out and I have nothing left.

I reach the waiting room and push the door open seeing that it was empty. I take a seat in the far corner and curl up into a ball.

I rest my head down and close my eyes, letting sleep take over me.