In the Absence of a Good Life

(2) Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat

The Partner in Crime (A.K.A The Best Mate) :

"Mr. Walker to the head office please, that was a Mr. Walker to head office, thank you." The voice called my name out over the intercom.

Guess it saves me from completing the hour long lesson of psychology.

I put my unfinished work onto the front desk, packed my bag and walked out of the classroom on my way to see the principal in 'head office'. The school tried to make it sound like a high end office building in the middle of a rich, bustling city, when in actual fact it was some scummy state school in an equally scummy area.

I didn't bother to knock on the office door when I reached it, I just barged straight in. I wonder what I could catch the head doing this time?

(One time I'd managed to burst in on a flustered secretary adjusting-or pretending to-a mound of paper work on the desk, and the just as flustered principal adjusting his tie...no prizes on guessing what they'd been up to...)

Apparently nothing had been going on this time, it had seemed that the head had been prepared for my entrance. Damn.

He looked up as I walked into the office.

"Ah! Terrance, there you are. Take a seat." He gestured to the seat in front of the desk while he made the suggestion. Unceremoniously, I dropped my bag on the floor, sat down and rested my feet on his desk.

"Long time, no see Walter. I have been trying not to disappoint but lately it seems my pranks have been somewhat, lacking lately." I addressed the man by his first name to show my lack of respect for him. He was used to it by now though. I also put on the facade of a highly educated individual, hell bent on patronising and belittling with a subtlety. I had this character down to a 'T'. I knew it was Walter's least favourite.

"Once again with the first name, Terrance? Ah...never mind eh? This time we are not here about you or your actions." He said, trying to make himself seem like the man-in-charge.

"Oh?" I said "oh, well that's alright then." I reclined even further into my seat and put my hands behind my head. I dropped my prim and proper character and settled into one that felt much more natural. I called this one the 'Disinterested One'.

"So why am I here then Walts?" I said lazily.

"That would be because of the new student," he paused to grab a file, "um, yes, a Mr. James Dia? I believe he is your flat mate?"

I nodded, I couldn't be bothered to utter a word. It would waste too much energy.

"Well, it seems he's got a few...issues. The teachers seem to think he is hiding something, but the last time he was forced into an alcoholics anonymous or any other form of a self help group, he was proven to be clean...so what is he hiding?"

"Oh that's easy!" I removed my feet from the principal's desk and sat forward with my hands in my lap. Walter's eyes widened and he leaned forward also.

"Yes?" He said eagerly.

"Yeah! He's been snorting sherbet. That's why he's been a bit lemony on some days and raspberry-ish on others, you get me?" I joked.

Walter opened his mouth to say something when he realised I was taking the piss. I stopped him before he could.

"Look. Even if Jimmy WAS taking something, which he ISN'T, why would I tell you? Why would I grass up my own best mate? Walter I'm insulted. What type of man did you think I was? A rat? A snitch? I thought we knew each other better than that!" I said.

The principal nodded and sighed. He sat back into his chair when he realised that he wasn't going to get me to say anything that could get Jimmy into trouble.