Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Alternate Responses to Transphobia [LAMP] (LGBTQA+ AU)

"You did that guy's part pretty well for a young lady. Maybe I can teach you how to act like a man Moreno professionally~ Back at my place~ Whaddya say baby doll~?"

Oh man. He reeked of beer. He leaned forward, grinning at Roman. Roman pinched his face in disgust. First, this man just misgendered him. Rood. Secondly, Roman isn't interested. He already has three datemates ever loves very much. He doesn't need to add a creepy old drunkard to the list. Roman took his hand and pushed the man backwards. He was too close to Virgil for his comfort. The man was about to growl something out, but Roman beat him to saying the first words.

"Yeah no. I'm a boy. I'm dating Virgil. Get out of my life before I make you get out of my life."

The man chuckled. Well, he did before Virgil pulled the clock out of their shirt and Roman lifted up his shirt to reveal the Swiss arm knife on his belt. The man instantly ran away, scared for his life. Virgil let out a sigh and Roman let his shirt down. Virgil stuffed the gun back in their chest and squeezed Roman's hand, feeling kind of insecure about the whole ordeal. I know what you're thinking, Reader. Why do they have guns and knives?! They need to protect themselves from people like that guy, right? Besides. These two are the badass ones in this poly relationship. Back to the story. Roman pressed a gentle kiss to Virgil's forehead to reassure them.

"Don't worry, baby. He's gone. He isn't going to hurt either of us."

Virgil took a deep breath, focusing on Roman's Words. After holding in for eight seconds, he exhaled for ten. He calmed whatever anxiety was fluttering in his chest and hugged Roman. Those situations are scary, no matter what you do or who you are. 

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"Gender is what she between your legs."

Roman and Logan looked at eachother. Roman snirked at the comment. Was this person serious? Logan rolled their eyes. The two of them decided to not talk about this. There apparently was a rally somehwere nearby while they were on a date that was opposed to LGBTQA+ people.  Apparently, the tally targeted the two of them while they were walking by. Some asshole with a megaphone pointed them out.

"You two! Join us! A lovely man and woman such as yourself should agree!"

Roman turned around first, infuriated that this person would both assume he was a girl AND assume he was on their side?! Oh hell nah. Logan tried to pull him back, trying to think rationally, but it was too late. Roman sweetly asked for the megaphone so that he could say something. Logan realized what he was going to do and stood next to him. Logan actually grew a small smile, going along with the plan. Roman was going to make all of these people look like idiots. Especially with Roman's lower voice which actually passes as a male voice! Hooray for screwing with people's heads! 

"First of all, I'm a Boy. Second of all, I'm hella bisexual. Third of all, Logan is Agender so they/them pronouns please. Thank you. Forth of all, how dare you assume that I'm a regarded bible bashing motherfucker who thinks that gays should burn in Hell. Fuck you. Logan, Darling, do you want to add anything or did I cover it?"

Logan took the megaphone.

"The Bible's English translation was lost with the Latin root. The oringal didn't not say 'man shall not lay with man' it said 'man shall not lay with boy' referring to pedophilia. There's nothing against LGBTQA+ People in the Bible. Besides, if you're going to use a singular quote to religiously shame people, why not follow the entire book? Why not shame people who work on Sundays, eat shrimp, or have premarital sex? Why just the homos? Welcome to the twenty first fucking century."

Roman gave Logan a high five, who clearly wasn't expecting it. Jaws were dropped and silence filled the air. Roman winked at the guy who handed him the megaphone. Logan set it on the ground and reached out for Roman's hand. Just like that, the two continued on their lovely little date.