vi. deep thoughts

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"shawn, baby wake up." mumbled a girl next to him, shawn opened his eyes and saw a heather naked laying next to him.

"hey." he said softly to her. "did you sleep well?" he asked

she smiled. "well, not enough but yeah i slept well." she told him. "yesterday was amazing, shawn."

shawn faked a smile, he knew that he fucked up everything. he kissed phoebe then slept with his fiancée. he turned his body around and closed his eyes again.

"i'm going to take a shower, wanna join?" asked the brunette behind him. shawn just shook his head and put the blanket on him.

"no thanks, i'll pass." he told her, she bit her lip and left.

usually, after seeing heather biting her lower lip, he would follow her in the shower but weirdly seeing her doing this, made him thought of Phoebe.

he stood up, grabbed fresh clothes and headed at another bathroom. when he passed brian and Phoebe's room, he could hear laughs and phoebe begging brian to stop tickling her. shawn wanted to be brian so bad, be the one to wake up next to her, be the one to hug her whenever he wanted or be the one who had a chance to built something with her but shawn wasn't the lucky guy.

after his shower, he went downstairs and saw everyone. "hey." he told sitting next to phoebe

phoebe sighed and tried to backed up a little. "sleep well?" she asked earning a laugh from everyone

"yeah, why?" he asked sightly confused, he glared at his mom who was chuckling. "oh no, you guys heard me?"

phoebe scoffed. "more like heather but yeah we heard you." she told with a shaky voice

shawn cursed at himself and gulped, he couldn't watch anyone in the room especially phoebe, he hurt her so bad and yet she had to act like nothing happened between the two.

"you fucked her good, bro." said brian in his ear, shawn groaned and pushed him away.

heather walked downstairs and greeted everyone, she sat next to shawn and kept kissing his neck as phoebe watched with disgust.

"heather, please stop." said shawn softly, heather giggled and stopped.

phoebe stood up brutally and ran in her bathroom, shawn followed her and heard her puke. he made his way to the her, held her hair and rubbed her back.

he flushed the toilet and sat down next to her. "you okay, phoebe?" he asked

phoebe scoffed. "A little sick. Can you just go back with your fiancée and leave me alone please?" she asked.

shawn understood her, he would act the same. "i was drunk, i would never fuck her knowing that you're in the same house." he told her softly. "she kinda forced me and myself being drunk, i did it."

phoebe nodded. "i should go back to los angeles and skip the wedding. i should have never come in the first place." she told him.

shawn frowned. "what if i cancel the wedding and leave with you?" he said, phoebe eyes widened as she shook her head.

"Are you crazy? What your parents will think and your siblings?" she asked

shawn shrugged. "but, i want to be with you and not her." he whispered. "i want to be the lucky guy who wake up next to you, kiss those lips." he mumbled, phoebe watched him in awe, a guy never told her things that were so pure.

"you need to think about everything." she told him. "i don't want you to make the mistake or your life, y'know?"

shawn grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "stay?" he asked

she nodded. "i will stay but if something goes wrong, i'm leaving straight away." she answered

he squealed and kissed her forehead. "thank you, phoebe." he told her.

she sent him a smile and left the bathroom. shawn made his way to his mom's room and knocked softly, karen opened the door and let him come in.

"hey mom." he told her softly.

she smiled. "is phoebe okay? i heard her throw up." she asked

shawn nodded. "you really like her, eh?" he questioned his mom

"i do like her, you guys would be perfect together." she spoke

shawn scratched the back of his neck. "i know." he whispered. "can i tell you something? but do not judge me."

karen sent him an interrogate look and nodded. shawn took a deep breath. "i-i kissed phoebe, twice." he mumbled

shawn looked away too afraid to see his mom, she must be so disappointed by his actions. his mother grabbed his hands and rubbed them softly.

"i am not mad, shawn but you should had not cheat on your fiancée." she started. "there's something between you and phoebe that you never had with heather. i truly think that you should think more about your marriage and what you're going to do." she said. "what do you want to do?" she asked

shawn sighed. "i want to try with phoebe, i just feel so connected with her and she understands me while heather is doing nothing." he told his mom, his words sounded so mean but they were true and shawn didn't regret them saying out loud.

"think about it, don't do something stupid hunny." she told him kissing his head.

shawn stayed there trying to understand his feelings towards phoebe and heather, with who he wanted to be, with who he wanted to spend the rest of his life, with who he wanted to grow old and he came in conclusion that heather was not that girl.


i started high school again, i wanna
die man😩
hope you like it!!!
also sorry for the mistakes :(((

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