The Empress Wears Gucci

22

        "I apologize, milady," he mumbled. "I'm four."

         I passed time by watching Guan Shu take care of her son. She told me about the stories and gossip in the Palace when Rong Er was occupied. I wasn't too into gossip, but I was shocked to find that the Empress had her good days. Guan Shu was telling me a story about how one of the princes was in love with one of the Emperor's Imperial Concubines. When the prince visited, he would speak to his family in the daytime, but spend time with the concubine at night. It was a great offense, but the concubine was arranged to be in the harem against her will. The Emperor visited her at times, but not enough to satisfy her. It would make sense for her to venture off to find love. That is the brutal reality with a lot of women in the harem. Once, the Empress caught them but didn't say a word to the Emperor. No punishments, just a warning to let them know she knew. When days went by, the Empress gave her a chance to leave the harem and the concubine married the prince. That story stuck out to me. The rest of the gossip didn't stick out too much. I didn't care about it but I still listened to Guan Shu's rambling. She must not have been able to talk that much with other people, so once she met me, she was talking her head off. My maid didn't fit in with the palace maids, and neither could she talk to her son about these matters. I didn't mind. She was another mother figure I had here, second to Hua Er's mother and perhaps her company kept me grounded. 

         Rong Er was starting to feel comfortable with me and let me fly his kite.

         "Look how high it is!" he squealed with excitement as we both ran across the bridge, watching the owl-like kite fly into the sky.

        Guan Shu watched silently but had a smile spread across her face the whole time. 

        I felt at peace. It was getting chillier than ever, but when the light breeze ran its gentle fingers through my hair, I couldn't have asked for more. It was pure bliss; I think I was suddenly having baby fever. There were no worries while flying a simple kite with a giggling child next to you non-stop. He was more amused than I was and I've never flown a kite before. My homesickness was starting to fade as Rong Er called my name. 

        I looked behind my shoulder and smiled. "What is it?"

        "Do you want to be my big sister?" he grinned, rushing over to hold my hand tenderly, before letting me have the kite.

        I held onto the string and held back my sorrowful tears. I missed my little sister, and I missed my family. The sun was still radiating, the large white fluffs in the sky were huddling around together... like family. But as Rong Er looked up at me and waited for a response, I started to fill this void in my hole by appreciating things now. I'm going to miss him and his mother when I go back home. Sighing as my lips curled, I exhaled gently. "Yes!"

        We walked back into my residence while we all ate in silence. Hua Er awkwardly situated herself between Rong Er and Guan Shu but was too afraid to get up and sit next to me. We still had a great time together, talking about whatever came to our minds. Not much, though. After we ate, Guan Shu had to drop off her son.

         "I'll see you later, Lady Ying Yue!" Rong Er giggled. He started to hop around in hopes of earning my laughter, and he did.

        His hair was crispy falling onto his upper eyelid. I carefully swept his hair up and squatted down. "Bye Rong Er, be good to your mother, alright?"

        "Yes!" he nodded before reaching for his mother's hand. I looked up at Guan Shu.

        She gave me a teary-eyed smile. "Thank you."

        "Thank you," I whispered back. My favourite maid turned around and left my chamber. I held my breath before the waterworks spilled.

       Although I kept telling myself that Guan Shu and her son could keep me sane from losing my mind over not seeing my family, I knew I was wrong. I was so homesick in this place. I've been having sleepless nights; I'm starting to wonder if doing this is worth it. I had my head buried in Hua Er's chest and my muffled cries could've been heard from the next room. I continued to let everything out. I felt the warmth of Hua Er's embrace and the gentle reassurance of her words, and I started to loosen up. We both held each other in silence. I didn't want Hua Er to pity me. When I leave this place, I'll be sure to convince the Emperor to let them leave. Or perhaps, he can take good care of them. Now thinking of it, I wouldn't know what to tell the Emperor before I leave. I'd have to fake a suicide or something.