The Fight For Love (Joshaya)

Chapter 52

  "Maya, you should've just told me to come over. I would've skipped class for this." Josh places his hands on both her knees and his eyes pull her into a non-physical embrace. It makes her feel guilty for not telling him over the phone and inviting Nathan over instead, but at the same time, it provides a comfort for her soul.

  Josh hesitates, but decides to stand up from the couch and puts a hand down for Maya to take. 

  She looks past Josh at Nathan and pleads with her eyes for him to tell her what she should do. She wants to take Josh's hand and let him lead her wherever he plans on going, but that takes trust, and she doesn't know if she's ready for that.

  Nathan catches her hint for help and raises his hand just above his lap, giving a thumbs up. 

  Maya takes that to mean it's safe to take Josh's hand and does so, standing up from the couch next to him. She stares at her shoes, waiting for him to move or say something.

  Lifting her chin up and causing her to make eye contact with him, he gives a gentle smile. "You're going to be okay. Are you ready to look in your mom's bedroom?"

  The thought of going into that room disturbs Maya; she breaks contact from Josh and runs past him, throwing her arms around Nathan's neck. She cries, "Don't let him! Don't let him do it!"

  His arms wrap around her, and she gathers that he's probably looking at Josh and wondering what the best tactic is for this situation. She doesn't care what he may or may not be non-verbally communicating with Josh; she solely clings next to his shoulder and hopes that she never has to enter that dreaded bedroom.

  She hears the guys whispering to each other, but she can't make out what they're saying due to her face being hidden behind Nathan's shoulder. 

  Finally, Nathan speaks directly to her: "Maya, do you want to explain why you broke away from Josh and started clinging to me? He's your boyfriend; shouldn't you want him to help you through a hard subject like this?"

  "This has nothing to do with that. He wanted me to see my mother's bedroom." She stops clinging to his neck and looks at him. "I can't do that, Nathan. I don't think I can ever do that."

  Leaning away from him, she rests her wrist on top of her knees and looks around the room; Josh is no longer in the room and she begins to wonder where he went. She refuses to ask Nathan, though. She doesn't want to know where he is because then she'll feel forced to go talk with him, which inadvertently means going to see her mother's bedroom and there's no way she will be doing that.

  Nathan breaks the silence, "Well, if you don't go into your mom's bedroom, then how will we know if her body is in there?"

  Quietly, Maya states, "I don't ever want to know if her body is in there."

  She thinks to herself that she doesn't ever want to know if her mother's body is in the bedroom. She doesn't want to know how her mother killed herself; she knows that her mother killed herself because of a decision to date someone and that is more than enough knowledge for Maya. 

  "Do you want me or Josh to look in the room?" Nathan suggests.

  "No. If you know whether her body is in that room, then I'll want to know and one of you will end up telling me. I don't want that to happen."

  "But if there is a body in there, then we have to do something with it. It can't just stay in that room forever."

  "And why not? Nobody else has to know about this, except for us three."

  "Maya," he places a hand on her shoulder. "More people will know eventually. When the bills don't get paid, what're you going to do then?"

  Crap. She hadn't thought about that. She decides to say a completely unrealistic prevention from something like that actually happening: "I can pay for the bills, so that won't happen."

  "Maya, I don't know a lot about you, but I know that's not possible."

  "And why isn't it? My mom worked for Riley's mom; I'm sure she can give me a job."

  Nathan can't help from chuckling a little bit, but it quickly subsides. "You realize you'd have to explain to her mom why your mom isn't working for her anymore, so more than just us will know."

  Double crap. Why does life hate her? She just wants life to continue being the normal that it once was. But then she quickly realizes that she never had a normal. She looks over at Nathan and can feel tears sliding down her cheeks.

  He wipes one of the tears away and offers a hug to which she gladly accepts.

  Not too long in the hug, Maya breaks away from him and stands up. "Where's Josh?"

  He stands up with her. "He went to go get some food for you. He didn't think it'd be good for you to starve." He winks at her.

  Maya lets herself smile a little bit and makes her way towards the front door, turning to face him before she opens it. She says, "I need to get out of this apartment. Wanna go for a walk with me?"

  "But what about when Josh arrives with the food?"

  "We'll leave the door open and I'll message him."

  "Okay. As long as you don't think he'll freak out."

  "Nah, as long as I message him, he'll be okay." Maya takes out her phone and types out a message to Josh really quick telling him where she'll be. Then she tucks her phone into her back pocket and smiles at Nathan, saying, "You ready?"

  Nodding, Nathan goes over to her and the two of them make their way out of the apartment.