The Fight For Love (Joshaya)

Chapter 45

  "Maya! Talk to me! You can't just say something like that and not explain yourself!" The two of them are standing outside Josh's dormitory building with him almost yelling at her. His voice calms down slightly, "Maya, I don't want to do something I'll regret, and I'm not talking about having sex."

  At his last words, Maya lifts her head and looks him dead in the eyes. "Then... what do you mean?"

  Tears escape from his eyes as he tells her. "Maya, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. But I can't do a relationship like this. I want to support you and your decisions, but not when you're running away from reality. Because running away won't get you where you want to be in life. Believe me, I know. I was there once."

  Maya takes a few steps closer to him and grabs the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her level. "You're going to break up with me. I know you are. Just do it so we aren't prolonging the inevitable any longer."

  The tears start drying on his cheeks and his expression changes from sadness to slight surprise. "Maya, what are you doing?"

  "Do it, Joshua; I dare you. Because if you don't break up with me, then you're dropping out of this college and moving out of New York with me. And I know you wouldn't do such a thing as that."

  "Maya. I'm not doing either of those things."

  "Then you're prolonging the inevitable." She lets go of his shirt and turns away from him.

  He touches her elbow, but she refuses to turn around and look at him. He sighs, "Maya, what is happening? Where's that girl that wanted to learn more about God? Where did she go?"

  "She never existed except in your little fantasy world, Joshua. Wake up to reality!"

  "Me? I need to wake up? Maya, I don't know who you are anymore."

  She bites her lip. "So are you going to do it?"

  "Maya, I don't want to. I want to try and make this work. I love you. But you need to talk with your mom."

  "I'm not talking to her. You either live with that or we can't be together."

  He sighs again. "Then I guess you're right. I guess we can't be together. I won't ever forget what we had, Maya. And I won't ever stop praying for you."

  All Maya can do is freeze. With her back still turned, she listens to Josh go back inside his dormitory building and she knows she won't ever go back in there with him. What did she just do? Why did she make him break up with her?

~~~~

  Sitting on the ground with her back against the cold cement wall, Maya watches the people passing by her and barely noticing her existence. She doesn't have Josh anymore. She won't speak with her mother ever again. If she goes to Riley, she'll be forced into an argument about speaking with her mother. She never had God. She has nothing in this world. 

  She hugs her knees to her chest and cries into them. During her sobbing, her phone buzzes in her back pocket. She stops crying, wipes the tears from her eyes, and pulls out her cellphone. Turns out, it's a message from Josh.

Josh:  I know you don't want to talk with me, but I don't want you to be alone on some street corner. If you need a place to stay, my room is always open and my roommate is perfectly okay with it.

  Maya doesn't know how to respond to his kind gesture. The two of them broke up; she can't run back to his university now. She can't run back to him. Then she receives another text from him.

Josh:  And if you come back, I really don't want to be broken up with you. So maybe we could find a way to make it work...

  How on God's green earth could they make their relationship work? He wants her to talk with her mother because he believes it's what's best for her. But she knows that she doesn't need to talk with her mother right now. She can't talk with her mom. 

  Her phone buzzes at another text from him.

Josh:  But if you choose not to come back here, I understand... but please listen to my heart, Maya. You're the only girl I've ever loved as someone I would want to marry; I really hope that means something to you. Because it sure as hell means something to me. 

Josh:  Excuse the language. I'm hoping it gets my point across. At least think about what I'm saying. I'll stop texting now.

  Maya covers her mouth with a hand. Josh just used a curse word for her, and he's supposed to be a goody Christian boy. That really does mean something. She has to go back to his dorm and try to work things out with him.

  Standing up from the cold ground, she tucks her phone in her back pocket and waits for the right subway train. While she's waiting, she dials her best friend's number.

  Riley answers on the fourth ring. "Peaches?"

  "Riles, meet me at the front entrance of Josh's university within the next 30 minutes."

  "Maya, I can't just do that. My parents won't let me."

  "Just figure out a way for me. Please. I really need you with me."

  Maya hears the hesitation in Riley's voice. "Okay. For you, peaches. See you in a little bit."

  "Thanks, Riles! See you then!"

  Tucking her phone back into her pocket, Maya grins from ear to ear as she allows the subway train to take her to her destination. A hope is rising inside her.