The Fight For Love (Joshaya)

Chapter 50

  As soon as Maya picks up the papers on the counter, she recalls some of them as her drawings of the most tragic events in her life. There is one from when her father left one night with a couple packed suitcases and never returned. Her father leaving set up a series of tragedy for her life, and Maya can't help but crumple the drawing and dodge it across the room as hard as she possibly can.

  Out of anger, she snatches the remaining drawings on the counter and slides down onto the floor next to the counter. The next drawing is of Maya and Carla as best friends; they have their arms around each other as they patrol through a dark alley. Seeing the drawing makes Maya recall the moment when Carla tried to steal Josh from her; because of this, she split the drawing right through the middle and let it fall to the floor.

  She glances at the remaining drawings in her hands and debates looking at them for fear of the wretchedness associated with them. She does not understand why her mother would leave the drawings of her most tragic events on the counter for her to look at. Then she thought about the possibility of a note being left with them.

  She stands up with the drawings and scans the counter for a note. Even though there is no note on the counter, she notices a paper on the fridge with a note written in red. It says, "You better be happy with Josh. You killed your mother."

  Maya drops the drawings to the floor and covers her mouth with both hands as tears spill from her eyes. Her mom is dead. She killed her mom. Her mom must've committed suicide. She can't believe this. She's an orphan. She doesn't have a mom or a dad.

  She moves her hands to cover her eyes instead. All she can do is cry on the floor of her apartment. 

  She thought her mom wanted to see her marry Josh before being completely done with Maya. She supposes her mom must've changed her mind. Maya hugs her knees to her chest and sobs into them as she regrets everything she's ever said poorly to her mom; she wants to reverse time. She wants to go back in time so that she can make herself talk with her mom, just like Riley and Josh had told her to do.

  Why didn't she listen? Why did she have to be so dang stubborn? Now her mom is gone. 

  Then a thought floods Maya's mind. If her mother committed suicide, where did she kill herself at? Did she do it in the apartment?

  Maya stops crying and stands up from the floor. Cautiously, she makes her way around the small apartment. The living area remains the same, which only leaves the bathroom and her mom's bedroom to check.

  When she goes to where her mom's bedroom is, the door is shut right in her face. No way does Maya want to open that door. If her mother lies dead in that room, then that's the last thing she wants to see.

  Backing away from the door, Maya heads into the kitchen and takes out her phone. She dials Josh's number.

  He answers on one of the last rings in a hushed tone, "Hey, Maya, my class is just now starting. I'll call you back afterwards." He hangs up the phone.

  Disappointed that she can't talk to him right now, Maya tucks her phone into her pocket. She decides that when Josh calls back she'll ask him to come to the apartment and open the bedroom door with her. 

  In the meantime, she can call up Nathan and ask if he wants to hang for a little bit. She takes out her phone once again and dials his number.

  He answers, "Hey, blond beauty! Were you wanting to hang out this afternoon?"

  She doesn't know if she should approach the subject of her mother's death right away or wait until the two of them are together. Eventually, she decides that it will probably be better to wait.

  "Yeah, of course I want to hang out. We're best buds now." Maya pushes past the awkward place she's in with Riley.

  "Okay, sweet! Where do you wanna hang out at?"

  With hesitation, Maya suggests, "My apartment?"

  "Okay, cool. I'd love to see your place. Will you text me the address?"

  "Yeah, I can do that." Maya says emotionless.

  "Alright, thanks, Maya! I'll see you in a little bit."

  "Yeah." She hangs up the phone, still processing how she's going to handle telling Nathan about her mother's death.

  Remembering the suicide note on the fridge, Maya turns around and tears it off; she sets it face down on the counter. Then she picks up the drawings on the floor and sets them next to the note.

  She goes to sit on the couch and texts Nathan the address  of her apartment. Then she shuts off her phone screen and stares at the wall across from her next to the front door.

  Nathan is expecting to casually hang out with her today, but that's not what is going to happen. She's going to lay some really heavy things on him, and she doesn't know if he can handle hearing all of it because she doesn't even know if she can handle it. He's going to want to be there for her like a true friend, but she's not sure she can accept that. She didn't accept it from Riley very well, and she barely accepts it from Josh. How can she possibly accept it from someone that she just got to know?

  Because he's just like you.

  Everything spinning through her mind just stops. Who answered her question? That can't possibly be God, can it? She decides to ask the question again in simpler words and out loud: "I barely know Nathan. How can I accept his comfort? "

 No response this time. Maybe it was all in her head. However, when she hears the knock on the door from Nathan being here, she almost feels like she hears the voice a second time saying the same thing as before.

  He's just like you.