The Fight For Love (Joshaya)

Chapter 42

  "We're screw-ups, Josh; that's all we are." Maya has her head on Josh's lap on the couch of Maya's living room.

  "If we're only screw-ups, then why are we here? What's our purpose?" Josh grins down at her.

  Maya thinks for a second. "I guess we don't have much of one without God."

  "I love you, Maya."

  She looks into Josh's eyes and smiles. "What's running through your head?"

  "Just how much I love you."

  "Don't you have homework to be working on?"

  "Yeah, I do. But guess what, my girlfriend wanted to hang out. That's going to take priority over any amount of homework."

  Biting her lip, Maya thinks through Josh's last statement. He's going to prioritize what she wants over anything else going on; that's a scary thought. Of course she loves that he loves her so much to do something like that, but she doesn't think that's right. He needs to focus on his studies. Those studies are going to be what gives him a career that she'll probably have a part of with him someday.

  She sits up on the couch and gives Josh a stern look. "Josh, I don't want you to put your homework before me. You need to do that. That's your career on the line."

  "Maya, calm down," he chuckles. "All I have to do is read a short chapter for a quiz tomorrow. I can get that done in maybe twenty minutes. No need to worry."

  She lets out a sigh and backhands one of his arms.

  He rubs his arm and asks, "What was that for?"

  "You made me freak out about you not studying enough when I didn't need to freak out. How dare you." She wants to say more, but she starts laughing hard and lets her head fall against Josh's shoulder. 

  He puts an arm around her and chuckles slightly. "You're a goofball, you know that?"

  Instead of verbally responding, she keeps on laughing until her head is back on his lap. She feels his hand stroke her hair as it begins to hurt to laugh so much, but she can't do much about it. She keeps on laughing until she hears her mother's voice after she had opened the front door.

  Her mom says, "Maya Hart, have you finished your homework?"

  All of her laughing subsides as she sits up straight. She decides to lie for fear of her mom kicking Josh out of their apartment. "Yep, everything's done, mom."

  Her mom gives her a questioning look, gives Josh a stern look, and then returns her gaze to Maya. She says, "I would like to see your completed homework."

  Crap. She doesn't have her math assignment anywhere near done, and she still has to write a journal entry for her English class. She tries to think of something to get her mother off of the homework subject. She begins with, "Mom, you see, I ... can't show it to you."

  Crossing her arms and leaning to one side, her mom asks, "And why not?"

  Not knowing how to answer that, she grabs Josh's wrist and pulls him out the front door. She doesn't stop running with him trailing next to her until the two of them are on a subway train.

  Once she lets go of his wrist, a look of concern fills his eyes. "Maya, what was that? Why did you not show your mom your homework?"

  She sighs, "Josh, I lied. I didn't have my homework done."

  Shoving his hands into his back pockets, he peers confusingly at her. "Then why didn't you just tell her that?"

  She has to close her eyes before answering that question. She hasn't told her boyfriend about how she feels emotionally abandoned by her mother, but she knows now is probably the time she's going to need to do it.

  She manages to find an empty seat and sits down; Josh squeezes a seat next to her.

  She starts, "You know how my dad left me awhile ago?"

  "Yeah." Josh places a hand on her leg.

  Staring down at his hand, Maya continues, "Josh, my dad didn't just leave me. My mom left me as well."

  "What do you mean? She came into the apartment and asked about your homework. It seemed like she cared about you to me."

  All Maya can do is shake her head; Josh doesn't have an ounce of understanding about the situation. But she presses onward with telling him, "I don't mean she left me to fend for myself. I mean that she emotionally abandoned me. Josh, she told me that she's just waiting for our wedding day so that she can send me off to be with you. She thinks because our beliefs are different from each other that I may as well have no part with her."

  He rubs her leg a little bit for comfort. "Maya, I don't think your mother abandoned you. She misses you. She feels that you care more about me than you do her."

  Maya immediately cuts him off, "You're wrong. She doesn't think that. She knows I care about her just as much as I always have. I know that for a fact and don't try to convince me otherwise."

  He withdraws his hand from her leg and twiddles his fingers together. "Maya, you mean a lot to me. I want what's best for you. Why did you think running out of the apartment was the best option in that moment?"

  She shrugs, "I don't know. I panicked. I thought if she found out that my homework wasn't completed she would kick you out, and I didn't want that. You mean everything to me, Josh. I don't want her to have control over our relationship."

  "But she needs to have a little control. Did she ever tell you her story?"

  "No. She didn't think I could handle it. She said it was better to not know it."

  "I was afraid of that." Josh hangs his head and doesn't say another word the rest of the subway trip. 

  Maya does the only thing that'll bring her a little comfort in the uncomfortable silence between them; she rests her head against his shoulder. However, he does not put his arm around her shoulders to return the sentiment.