The Fight For Love (Joshaya)

Chapter 25

  A tapping noise on the window wakes Maya up from sleeping next to her best friend. She cautiously gets off the bed and makes her way to the window.

  Josh stands on the other side, and Maya opens the window. Right away he begins apologizing for not meeting to talk with her. "Maya, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I blew off talking with you for a friend! I'm sure what you had to say was really important, and I couldn't stop thinking about it when I was studying with him. I will never blow you off again."

  She replies, "You didn't blow me off. Not only did you have a big test to study for, you had made a commitment with someone else before me--"

  Josh cuts her off, "That's where you're wrong. I made the commitment to you before him. I made the choice to date you; that's a huge commitment to you. There is so much that goes into it; I don't think you even realize how much exactly. Maya, you mean so much to me. Don't you ever forget that, okay?"

  Tears escape Maya's eyes. She manages to respond with choked words. "Thank you. Just thank you."

  A look of sympathy appears on his face. "May I come in?"

  She suddenly quits crying and remembers Riley sleeping in her bed. In the darkness, Riley doesn't appear to have moved from the last position Maya saw her in. Relieved, Maya climbs out the window and shuts it. Then she faces Josh. "That answer your question?"

  "What are you doing?"

  "We are going on an adventure."

  "To where?"

  "We'll find out."

  "Would you be mad if I opted out to do so?"

  The smile disappears from her face and a frown takes its place. She says, "Why?"

  "I haven't had my test yet and I need sleep. I was hoping to just talk with you and then we could go to sleep together."

  Using her thumb to point through the window, Maya says, "My bed's already being slept in by someone else."

  Confusion fills his expression. "Please tell me it's not what I think it could be."

  Maya thinks through the possibilities that could be running through Josh's mind. When she discovers what it is, she shakes her head. She forcefully grabs his hands and stares deep into his eyes. "Listen to me. Josh, I would never sleep with another guy. You are the one I want. No other guy could be better than you. You got that?"

  Worry remains in his eyes. "Well, then, who's sleeping in your bed?"

  "That's part of the reason I wanted to go on the so-called adventure with you. I want to tell you what happened tonight."

  "Something good?" The slightest bit of hope echoes in his tone.

  Maya nods. "Yes." She twists her wrists upward and locks fingers with him. "So, are you in?"

  "I'm in on one condition. I need to be heading back to my dorm by two."

  "Works for me!" Maya smiles.

  The two of them make their way down by means of the fire escape. Once both of them are on the ground, they interlock fingers and begin walking alongside the streets of New York.

  After they've been walking for several paces in silence, Josh can't take not knowing what happened earlier any longer. He glances at her and asks, "Are you going to tell me?"

  Maya decides to have fun with this. "I don't know, am I?"

  "Why are you playing this game with me? I just want to know. As much as I love hanging out with you and playing along with your little games, I want to get to bed as soon as possible. This test is really stressing me out."

  Her grip loosens on his hand, and she stops walking. She looks intently at him. "You shouldn't be here. You need to be in your room sleeping. You clearly can't focus on anything else but the test. Until you take it, I won't have your full attention."

  He lets go of her hand and places his hands on her shoulders. "Maya, you have my full attention as long as you tell me what happened tonight. I just can't handle the little things right now."

  "Josh, as much as I do want to tell you, I need to know I have your complete attention. And with you going on about how stressed you are over this test, I can't be for certain I have it. I want to believe you're right, but do you understand why I don't believe you?"

  His hands drop from her shoulders, and he hangs his head, staring at his shoes. "Ouch."

  Maya replays her words in her mind and recognizes the harshness in them. She said she doesn't believe him. Of course it was only referring to him having his complete attention towards her, but it definitely sounded like she meant overall in the relationship.

  She moves to hug him, but stops herself. She's not going to fix something she said by means of affection; she needs to fix harsh words with kind words. She takes a deep breath before saying, "Hey, Josh, I didn't mean I don't believe you."

  He keeps her from continuing any further. "I know what you meant."

  Ouch, Maya thinks. Wanting to cry but needing to stay strong while she's still with Josh, she takes a step back from him. Bracing herself for whatever response may come, she says, "Josh, know I'm sorry. I do believe the things you say."

  "Except for this time."

  "Josh. Listen to me. Please. I don't know what else to say."

  "Don't say anything. I'm going to head back to my dorm now. I need sleep." Without another word or even a glance at her, Josh starts walking in the direction of the nearest subway station.

  Maya only watches him walk away for the next couple minutes. She fights the desire to run after him and never let him go from her embrace. Instead, she slowly turns around and makes her way to the fire escape of her apartment.

  Once she gets safely into her bedroom, she checks her phone from any messages or missed calls from Josh. But it's just as she suspected:  clear of any notifications from him. She sets her phone on the desk and makes herself comfortable on the bed next to Riley again.

  Riley stirs from the movement and asks, "Where'd you disappear to?"

  Hiding the truth, she responds, "Just needed some fresh air."

  "Understandable," Riley says and falls back to sleep.

  Returning in her mind to the situation that happened outside with Josh, all Maya can do is stare at the ceiling with her best friend beside her and ponder on it until she sees him again.