The Last Flower [KTH] (+18) Vol.1

40

Kara's P.O.V

Since I was a child , I can't remember the last person treat me as who I'm, not as a pretty face.I lived my entire life trying to adopt with people, every single person I come across treat me with care ,not because they care or because they like me,it was always because I'm pretty,beautiful and pleasant,In their eyes I saw the uncomfortable  and unpleasant feeling they have towards me, even hate sometimes.

was it because I'm beautiful or because I wasn't their type? I don't know and I never know.

I was always tired of waking up early in the morning to go to a place to feel more useless, worthless, dumb and unloved.

I was tired of having breakdowns inside of me , and of being made fun of, of lying about eating, and of having headaches.

I was tired of coming back home to the same things, same problems, just same stuff...

I learned to hold everything on my chest and never ever let anyone hold it with me, or know it...

all it took me was a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they never notice how broken i really was.

I learned to let people treat me as they want , I just offer them a nice attitude and a warm smile , because I'm always afraid of getting hurt, I always had my grandmother, the only person I saw had love for me in her eyes ,love I never saw in my own mother's eyes , for my mother I was always a stumble  a mistake who followed her around her entire life , an ugly creatures who ruined her body and made her look uglier and older, this sentence was her gift for me in my 11th birthday day, I never been sorry in my life , she gave me birth despite not wanting too. At my 13th birthday her gift was unforgettable, it changed my entire world, I've stopped believing in something called affection, her gift was the reason why I was born, I only was born so that she could take money from my dad, I do understand now the hate my father's wife has for me and her...

At the end , I was a failure, she didn't took the money she wanted, then there comes the regrets of giving birth to me , then abandon me to live her life and find another source to get money.

I was lucky for having my grandmother , she took care of me , loved me, she gave me all the attention and affection I once grave from my mom, I was slowly forgetting I have an unloving mother.

At the age of 15, I met the man who named himself as my father and his wife, he was so kind ad caring, I knew for the first time I had a brother ,I thought I do finally live the life I always dreamed of , I had a father a brother and a mom, I never thought I do have ,but I was pushed away again , far far away...

I knew, I never will be loved or worthy , I gave up trying , I accept my life the way it is , I do as I told and my feelings  my opinion, my desire ,my happiness  my sadness, my will I kept them to myself.

I got out from the bathroom to see Taehyung knocked out on the bed sleep, he must be very tired, I never thought I do cry between someone's arms and talk about my damaged feelings.

The way he hugged me washed away all my sadness, but I still can't believe it. all this years, I thought I had a Father who's not my true father, he choose to rise me against his wife's will, he decided to give me his name and take care of me knowing he will no longer live happy with his wife, I practically ruined his marriage, she never forgave him for cheating on her.

Little did she know , I'm not even his daughter.

I was watching a movie with others , when I received a message from my mom, with a prove that I'm not Mr.Park's daughter, Part of me don't believe it, but the other one does, because it all make sense, I don't have nothing in common with him or Jimin. There was always that feeling inside of me, telling me over and over again I'm not one of them.