My Dreams Sal fisher x Suicidal!Lonely!Abuse!Reader

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Someone needs to take away my writing privileges, I am writing way too much. I am going to make myself blind from writing so much, but I know I need to vent out my feeeeelings.

Anyway, warnings dark themes and all that jazz. ENJOY

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I walk down the halls holding my books close to my chest head hung low so not to make eye contact with anyone, the world around me a blur of faces drawn on like they were done by a child. Crude scribbled smiles with no eyes, all I can see is the smiles plastered across their faces telling me they are happy when I am not. Happiness is something I hadn't known in a long time, not since my mother was killed. Not since before my father began to drink every day and night to the point he sometimes doesn't even wake up when I try my hardest. Not since before the bruises began to be scattered across my skin, the marks a symbol as if telling me 'You're not good enough, why are you trying? You're nothing but a waste of breath'.

He hadn't loved me since my mother died, I don't know if he had ever loved me in the first place anymore. He see's her in my eyes and always gets so livid, as if it was my fault she was killed that one faithful day. I hadn't meant for it to be like this, being stared at as if I am a murderer by my own father. How did it get like this anyway, I can't even remember anymore it has been so long that I can't even make sense of it. I had nothing anymore, no reason to go on with my meaningless life filled with loneliness and pain. My friends abandoned me the moment my mother had died, their head filled with poisonous lies that wouldn't go away. They'd push me to my knee's and rip my hair from my head, their yelling would become an inconsistent blur.

The day I had moved away from that old town was a day of bliss yet loneliness, I didn't know a single soul in this school. I didn't have anyone to talk to even if it was supposed to be a fresh start, part of me was okay with that. I could just continue to draw and write in my books by myself and not be bothered, things don't always go your way now do they though? Travis has singled me out the moment I stepped through those big doors, he sensed my weakness and struck at me like a cobra going for its prey. The best I can do is keep my head low as always and hope he doesn't catch me as I walk to lunch, I just wanted to avoid everyone anymore. No matter how lonely I felt inside I knew it was better if I was alone, I really was a murderer.

It was my fault she died, I had started to believe that a long time ago. I didn't deserve to be happy except in the colorful dream world I had created in the paged of a journal, the world spanning much wider than this world ever could. I had become so accustomed to the worlds in my mind that they began to feel like home, like I was a foreign entity in reality itself. It made me sick to my stomach to live like this, the loneliness continuing to eat away at me as the days go by. Every bruise giving me burning pain as I briskly move down the halls that seemingly never end, though at least in these halls I didn't have to go home to the smell of wretched alcohol. Bottles all over the floors like an ocean, only a matter of time before I find my father dead on the floor in his clusters of bottles.

No matter how much I wanted to cry and scream I never made a single peep, no one cared enough to hear my woes. I couldn't bear putting such a heavyweight on someone else's shoulders, it's not like anyone else would want that weight anyway. I was just the quiet girl who would never talk to anyone, the quiet girl who creeps everyone out. The quiet girl who should just disappear, the quiet girl who should just kill herself. I clutch my journal tighter picking up my pace wanting to get to lunch, so I can just zone out into my journal, so I can escape the whispers surrounding me. Sometimes I wonder if they notice the scars under my long sleeves, sometimes I wonder if they notice the bruises in various places.

Sometimes I wonder if someone see's me and actually is worried about me, but then I remember who I am and that thought is taken away in a mere second. They were right, every single one of them is right. No one wants me here in this painful world, they'd never miss me if I had killed myself in the middle of the previous night. They'd just taunt fake sadness as if to seem like they are not a bad person like they are, they could never care about me. Suddenly my thoughts are brought to a stop when I slam straight into something causing me to fall back, I reach up to my head rubbing it slightly because of the surprise pain running through me. "Are you alright?" I slowly open my eyes to see a boy standing in front of me, his hand reached out to me even though people were staring and whispering.

SallyFace X reader OneshotsWhere stories live. Discover now