Love You So Bad

Rain (How does the weather know?!)

You have never had a more terrifying car ride. The worry and anticipation that was bubbling deep in your chest was the only thing you could process. Your head was leaning against the window and as cliche as it sounds, the weather seemed to have understood your mood and mirrored it. For the next half an hour, you watched each raindrop trickled down the glass pane your head was leaning against. For the next half an hour, you watched as your unusually calm breathing led to the window fogging up. For the next half and hour, you thought of him. For the next half an hour, the only thing that was going through your head was

I can't lose you, or I'll lose myself too.

You couldn't even bother yourself with making out what Manager Seijin was telling you from the driver's seat. You could imagine they'd be words of comfort, but they were being relayed to deaf ears. You sat in the back corner seat, away from the conversing family. And deep inside, you could tell. You'd never be a part of that family. Which is why you needed him to be there for you.

Stage 3.

3.

3.

3 was a terrible number. You hated it.

When he was at Stage 2, you knew there was a good chance for his survival. Although the chances he would live were very low to begin with, something could have been done. But Stage 3...

3.

3.

The member sitting next to you was gently touching your shoulder, and when you snapped out of your thoughts, you realized it was Seokjin.

"(Name)-shhi, we're here now,"

You didn't say anything. You just nodded and pulled your body out of the seat and followed the others outside. You realized that despite it being almost 12 in the morning, you were heading through the backdoor. Each member was given a breathing mask as well to cover their identities until they were inside. Except for you.

"We're here to see (Brother's Full Name)?"

"Yes, he's in Room 355,"

As you got closer to that one room you had walked into so many times before, the sense of sickness coiled in the pit of your stomach. It was then that you realized that you were gasping for air, your breathing shaky and unsteady. Someone's hand rubbed your back softly and when you looked up, you were slightly surprised to see that it was Jungkook.

"Go in, we'll be right here," he said as they all crowded around the door.

"You want us to leave, you tell us," Yoongi said, giving your shoulder a gentle pat and you nodded before you opened the door.

And the sight for you to behold was the most painful you had ever seen. In your head it was the most painful sight to ever see.

He wasn't in pain, but he was.

He wasn't suffering, but he was.

He was asleep, but you could see the nurse in the back taking his hospital clothing that was covered in blood and your throat constricted.

You walked to his bedside and kneeled down next to him. He slept peacefully but there was so much he was going through. Water clouded your vision and you blinked it away. You could feel the stares of the other members on your back, but it didn't make you uncomfortable, rather giving you the feeling that someone was watching over you.

You looked at your brother. You're beautiful and sweet, caring brother.

Your rock.

Your support.