Angels (Pavel Chekov)

34 - Repair Status

Pavel doesn't reply. Vienna looks after herself for once. She eats well, spends time talking to her roommate and tidies up her room. She feels better after a few hours and checks her messages, still seeing nothing from Pavel.

"Checking those messages again?" Her roommate asks, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know, Vienna, he seems kind of moody. You were a lot calmer a few months ago. Are things not going well with you two or...?"

She finds herself a little lost for words, not sure how to really respond. "It's... We're just in rough patch or something. I don't know it's hard to explain."

"What, things just aren't like they were before? It's not uncommon. They stop being as affectionate, you both get caught up in your own things, you get hung up on how things were before... Is this sounding familiar to you?"

Vienna looks a little stunned and her roommate gives her a look.

"Don't let it get to you. It's just a slump. You can pick things up and rekindle everything. Sounds like you should go see him in the morning."

"Ah," she mutters, her hands on her cheeks. "What am I doing?"

Her roommate gives her a reassuring smile and Vienna heads to bed with a tight stomach. She wonders if Pavel's having any more luck sleeping.

Vienna's knocking at Pavel's door in the morning but David answers and tells her he hasn't seen Pavel since when he woke up an hour ago. She starts worrying and messages Pavel, asking where he is. She goes for a walk around campus and waits for a reply, which never comes. Her PADD buzzes and she thinks it's Pavel but McCoy is asking her to come to medbay and she feels her heart rate pick up.

McCoy is near the entrance when Vienna comes in and he flags her over, bringing her straight into his office. She asks where Pavel is and McCoy encourages her to sit down and try and breathe a little easier.

"Pavel's alright now. He's with us. Are you aware of what happened last night?"

"Last night?" She asks, starting to feel a panic set in. "What do you mean last night? I... We had this run in with another guy and Pavel was in this mood and I was getting upset too so I thought I'd go back to my own apartment for a little while so I didn't make him any worse and I messaged him but he never replied to me. Is he okay? What happened?! Why is he in medbay?!"

"Vienna," McCoy says firmly. "Slow down. He's alright. Let's just take this back a little. He had a breakdown after you left. He went to use some of his spray, but he dropped the bottle and it shattered, spilling all of the contents on the floor."

"Oh God," she mutters, starting to put puzzle pieces together.

"He came to medbay later that night but he had already hurt himself after the spray spilt. We're going to keep him in here a few days. He needs time to adjust to his new medication and for us to monitor his wounds. We're also going to get him talking to a psychologist so we can understand what's going on in that head of his."

"This... This is my fault," Vienna mutters, standing up. Her vision is clouding over and her chest feels heavier than it has in ages. "I should have stayed there with him! This wouldn't have happened if I was looking after him... Where is he? I need to go apologise."

"Vienna. Vienna, listen to me. This isn't your fault. You need to look after yourself too. This is taking a huge toll on you as well. He's okay now. He's doing a lot better and he doesn't blame you, either. He's alright. I think you should go and visit him and then come back in here and we can talk again. We need to have a look at your health as well."

She nods, not having the capacity to argue with him. He asks if she's ready and she nods, following him through medbay and trying to calm herself down. McCoy knocks on a door and opens it, letting Vienna in.

"Pavel," She says softly. He's sitting on a biobed, his arm is bandaged and there's a faint smile on his lips.

"Vienna," he says, honestly glad to see her. He beckons her over and she wraps her arms around him. She starts crying into his shoulder and he squeezes her a little tighter. He stays silent, just keeping his arms around her and letting her cry.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there Pavel. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Her words are clouded in soft sobs and he mutters something gently in her ear in Russian.

"Enya," he says, his voice calm and even. "I'm okay, I promise."

"This is my fault, I should have been there. I should have stayed there with you. I should have been there, Pavel. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Hey," he says, getting her to look up. "This wasn't your fault. You didn't know. Please, I don't want to see you upset."

He wipes a tear from her eye and she gives him a soft smile. He pecks her lips, feeling his chest lighten. She asks him to tell her what happened and though he knew she'd ask, he feels no readier to explain.

"When I came out of the shower and read your PADD message, I broke down. I felt this crazy guilt for driving you away and not even talking to you after Damien tripped me over. I went to get that spray when I started getting worse but my hands were shaking and I dropped it. The bottle shattered, and I just told myself that I was.... That..."

"That you were what?"

"That I was supposed to punish myself for treating you how I did... It was bad, Vienna but after a few hours I forced myself to head to medbay. I... I'm really sorry. I guess yesterday just made me realise how much stress I was causing you. It's me who should be sorry. I promised I'd look after you too and I really haven't been keeping that."

"I still should have been there, even if I was stressed."

"Don't say that," he mutters, pulling her in closely again. "It's alright now. I'm going to stay here a few days until I sort myself out. I'm going to fix things."

She's glad that he's going to fix things, she rests her head on his shoulder and tells him how much she wants to see him happy again. She remembers when she felt like she could fix him with pecks on the cheek. He takes her hand and squeezes it, sensing her unease. He tells her that things will improve, that he'll get better and she smiles at the thought, placing a kiss on his cheek.

(Author's Note)

Naming chapters is more difficult than I anticipated