Angels (Pavel Chekov)

8 - Hurt

"How long have you been... How long have you been doing this?" She asks, her voice laced with uncertainty.

"Two or three years. I don't really remember when it started. I don't think I want to remember when."

She tells him to come sit back down and he does, quickly wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. Vienna is lost for words, she drums her fingers on the side of her legs.

"Where's your medkit?"

"Sorry?"

"Your medkit? There should be one in your bathroom cupboard. These are wounds, Pavel, they need to be cleaned and bandaged."

He decides not to argue, going and fetching the medkit from the bedroom. He passes it to her and takes his hoodie off. She tells him to let her do it as soon as his hand goes near the med kit. He rests his arm on his leg and lets her work away at it. He winces at the antibacterial cream and she apologises softly. He wipes his eyes again, she wonders if it's from the sting of the cream or the situation in general.

He thanks her for bandaging his arm. She asks if that's why he was flustered when she came in, he nods. She asked if it was the same thing happening when she came over after Damien pushed him in the cafeteria. He nods again.

"I care about you Pavel..." She says softly, putting her hand on his knee. "I don't want you to suffer by yourself."

"I'll be fine," he says, his eyes still cast downwards. "I'm not dragging you into this, okay?"

"You're not dragging me into anything," she says stubbornly. "I'm your friend, Pavel. I'm making a choice here to support you through this."

She puts her hand on top of his and he looks up at her, adjusting his grip so he can squeeze her hand back gently. He gives her a gentle smile and she smiles back in return, giving his hand another squeeze.

"Come here," she says gently, wrapping her arms around him. He seems a little surprised by the gesture initially. He wraps his own arms around her and buries his face in the crook of her neck. "You'll be okay," she says softly, running her hand up and down his back gently. He breathes out a sigh of relief and squeezes her gently. She smiles and closes her eyes, thinking about how glad she is that she read his journal.

They stay and talk late into the night, sitting on the floor with their backs resting against the bed. Vienna falls asleep first and Pavel less than a minute later, resting his head on top of hers. When she stirs, he starts waking up and he realises his arm is wrapped around her. He removes it, his cheeks blazing a little.

"Hey," she greets. "We fell asleep together."

"We did," he confirms, stretching out. "Are you hungry?"

"Just sore at the moment," she mutters, rubbing her back a little. "Before I forget, I also wanted whatever it was that you used on your arm. I'd like to get rid of it."

He studies her for a second, realising that she's very serious and disappearing into the bathroom and bringing back out a small packaging knife. He closes it before passing it to her, an apologetic look in his eyes.

They eat together quietly. Pavel sits close to her as she eats and she notices, shuffling the slightest bit closer to him. He smiles to himself but he knows what she's doing. He nudges her with his arm and she nudges him back, grinning to herself. He laughs, getting up and putting his plate in the sink.

"Is your roommate around?"

"He only visits here periodically. He spends most of his time in his girlfriend's dorm. I don't think he's spent a night here yet."

Vienna smiles, putting her own plate in the sink. She wants to stay a little longer but she has class soon and she needs a little time to get herself ready.

"I better go but I'll see you in class soon, right? I just... Promise me you'll try and stop. That you'll come over or message or call or something instead. As I said, I care about you. You know that, right?"

He smiles, giving her a gentle nod. "I promise I'll try."

Vienna's roommate raises an eyebrow at her, noticing she's in the same clothes from last night.

"You weren't at a boy's room, were you?" She asks, grinning a little.

"I was, but not in the way you're probably thinking. We were talking and just fell asleep."

"Mhmm, I've heard that one before."

Vienna laughs, throwing her bag down and heading into the shower.

(Author's Note)

Important to note here that I'm trying my hardest not to romanticise self harm!! I am trying to bring to light the power of positive relationships/friendships and the importance of getting help for mental illness.

Thank you and enjoy