LIE [Editing]

Chapter 43: Goodbye

Your POV:
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----after 5 months----

You've been going to therapy for a while. Irene gave you the suggestion and you couldn't tell her no. The therapist has been helping you get over your trauma and now you don't mind going to the hospital. You began visiting them like a normal patient and you began checking on your health due to the years you didn't go to the hospital. Nothing was found to be wrong with your body and you were happy.

You were walking down the street slowly as the thoughts of today's session came to mind. What do you prioritize when taking choices? What do you think is the hardest choice? That question.... How do I answer??? And why do I have such short time to think about that decision Daniel gave me??? WHY does he have to pressure me that way?? I know it's the only way to get everything back together but... I'll lose me.

These thoughts roamed your head that you didn't realize you reached home.

You went into your room and took a nap just to wake up in the middle of the night with your answer. You took a deep breath. It's the only way to protect them.

.
.
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You were in the house waiting for the boys to come. You were finally ready to tell them that you were going to- you're going to- you couldn't even say it to yourself without breaking down crying. You went to the bathroom and once again you held the razor. The same razor you first cut yourself with. It started with you... It'll end with you. You cried as the razor came closer and closer. Until it reached your skin and made a slight incision right above your last one and then you got it closer to your neck. This is the solution... This is the only way we all win. This is how this all ends.

You dropped the razor to the floor as your cries rose louder and louder, as blood trace down from your wound to your bare skin making it's way to the tips of your defeated fingertips. Each drop of blood that falls from your body is preceeded by tears trickling down your cheeks. As your blood fall from the tips of your fingers to the groud, you made your way to a corner where you sat down and wept on silence. Blood still running down but your tears stopped, the pain stopped, your thoughts stopped, time stopped and for a minute you thought life stopped. You brought your knees close to your face and hid behind them. The bell rang and you heard voices but you just ignored it. You kept on ignoring it even when your phone rang. You didn't want them to see you this way. After your phone rang for the first time you heard banging on the door. The banging grew louder and louder but now even if you wanted to move you couldn't. Even if you wanted them to see you, you couldn't. You couldn't move. You couldn't keep your eyes open. You felt them slowly shut as darkness consume you, as you were taken away... Away from reality. Without even saying goodbye.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

You got annoyed by the constant beeping but you didn't dare open your eyes. You were afraid. Afraid that you will see the people you were ignoring... That you will face them. When you realized you couldn't hear a single sound you opened your eyes to be greeted by a faint light from the window that softly hits the faces of all the people you know, of all the people you love. All of them were asleep in a seated position except for... Jimin. You looked at your hand that is held by his tiny hands but that are still bigger than yours. You looked at all his face features that were right next to your hand as he was asleep in an Asian squat position. It seemed painful so you helped him on the bed as you went out and away. Away from them. Away from your family. Away from heartbreak. You went home. You went to an empty box.

You packed all your clothes and stuff and went to the closest hotel after booking a ticket back to a place you used to call home. You sat on the bed in the hotel and checked the clock. It was 4:23 am. You took a deep breath as you took out a few papers and a pen. You wrote your resignation letter and letters to each member and your siblings and went back to the hospital.

They were all still asleep so you handed them the letters one by one and went out. You felt a bit relieved but tears still rolled down your cheeks.

You were close to the exit when you felt 2 arms wrap around you. You were startled but didn't dare to move.

"D-don't lea-ve" you heard yoongi's voice break. You turned and faced him as you saw tears in his eyes and soon enough more tears formed in yours.

"I'm sorry yoongi." you hugged him tight. "the password to euphoria and paradise is 9393." you forcefully pushed him away and ran. You ran as fast as you can that he couldn't catch up. You went back to the hotel and waited for it to become 6 am so you can leave. So you can go back. Go back to where this all started. Go back to the start. To the reason you are here.

Go back home.