His Beautiful Mess (Under Editing)

Part 24

I stood there, frozen in place staring into hard hazel eyes, with my heart beating and clenching in pain and my mind running wild with a thousand questions. Why was he here and what was he doing here? Had he found out about Winter? I mentally thought to myself still staring into those hypnotic eyes of it.

The last thought was reason enough to make all the blood in my body turn cold. No, no way in hell had he found about Winter, and even if he had, there was no way I was going to allow him near her, no.

Taking in a deep breathe, I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping beyond anything this was just a crazy dream or some illusions my mind was conjuring up. I opened them again to still find hazel eyes gazing intently at me. Ohhh no, this was no dream, Yale truly was standing right in front of me, in the flesh, looking exactly as he looked the last time I had seen him, four years ago.

The reality of it all hit me full force, making me gasp out in shock as my mind transported me back to that faithful night, that night he broke me, that night he made me feel worthless, that night he had treated me like a piece of trash. My hands balled up into fist as I relived that painful memory all over again, igniting the anger and rage I had buried away.

On unsteady legs, I took a step back not wanting to be an inch close to him. It was too hard, too painful to even just look at him. I swallowed past the lump in my throat before walking past him to head to the bathroom. No I wasn't going to run like some scared wounded animal, I hadn't done anything wrong and to me he was good as dead.

You are past this. This is just a bad dream.
You are past this. This is just a bad dream.

I mentally kept chanting to myself with each step I took, blinking back the tears that had built up.

"I would have forgiven you if you had come back crawling on your knees begging." I heard him say which made me stop dead in my tracks.

Forgiven me if I had come crawling on my knees begging? Was he serious? Did I hear right? Come begging?! For what? Something I didn't do? Something I  was framed for?

He still believed I had betrayed him like that, after I had showed him the part of me that I kept only to myself? I wasn't going to explain myself to him, maybe the old Santa Faye would have, but not this Santa Faye. I wasn't that naive, insecure and docile girl anymore and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of replying him.

Letting out a shaky breath, I resumed walking towards the restroom almost blinded by the tears that had pooled underneath my ears. I got into the safe confines of the restroom before the dam broke free. The tears I had been holding back freely fell from my eyes as I crumpled to the floor sobbing. Why was the universe trying to play a cruel joke on me, and why was I seeing him after all this years?

Wasn't I past this, hadn't I cried enough and hadn't I been through enough pain? I mentally thought to myself as I felt my heart constrict making it hard for me to breathe. I started hyperventilating, with my breathe coming out in short gasps. Ohh God was I having a panic attack? I frantically thought to myself as I got up from the floor feeling lightheaded.

Hands on the wall for support, I made my way over to the settee in the restroom to sit myself down taking in deep long breaths to steady my fast beating heart. I kept on doing this for a while till I felt my breathing return to normal and my heart relax.

I needed to get out of here, from this place and far away from him. If just seeing him for a brief moment could affect me this way then how was I going to survive the night with him in the same room. I thought to myself as I got up to go stand in front of the mirror, luckily my makeup was still intact except for a little mascara smudge. Grabbing hold of a tissue I dabbed at the smudge staring at myself in the mirror.