Ï Am mE 《☆jikook☆》

The Inner Demon

"See you later, Jimin..." Jungkook softly utter, smiles and then enters his classroom now.

Jimin nods in response, then he released a deep sigh, to let out the heavy feelings he has been controlling in the car. But it made no difference, his heart remained heavy.

Jimin continued walking going to the Arts Department. But each steps he made becomes heavier. His whole body is still feeling numb. And his mind has stopped working, he knows not what to do, so he just walk.

He did not noticed it, that he has walked past through his classroom and was now in front of the boys comfort room. Out of his mind, Jimin enters on an empty cubicle, locked the knob and sat on the bowl.

And then, without any warning, warm tears ran down through his face, they are like heavy rain that keeps on falling, never-ending.

Different thoughts run through his brain, a lot of why, how, and what remained hanging in his mind, he just can't find the right words to justify them. He can't find the right words to convince himself, that they were only mistaken, that he was just misunderstood. He's searching for comfort but he can't find them.

Jimin doesn't know how long he has been inside this cubicle, that he did lose count on how many student has already come and go. His tears, on its own, has ceased from falling but there's this tiny voice inside of him that starts screaming.

"He will harm you! You have to act first before it's too late!" Jimin tried to cover his ears but the voice just keep on screaming and was even getting louder.

"Jimin... Jimin..." The voice keeps on calling.

Jimin pressed his head on his knees, covered his ears with his two hands, not minding the searing pain of his fractured arm, shut his eyes hard, but the voice stays. "They will get rid of you Jimin... sooner... believe me Jimin..."

He can't take it anymore, the voice is making his head hurt. Jimin thought that if he get out of here, maybe the voices in his head will be gone. He immediately get out of the cubicle and run as fast as he could out of the school.

"No, Jimin.. don't run away.." the voice keeps on whispering, it didn't stop even a little. Jimin keeps on running, he wanted to go home now.

His knees wanted to give up already but he still keeps on running. He knew eyes were staring at him but he didn't bother at all, he doesn't care about people looking at him, what he eagerly wanted was this voice to finally cease.

"Fight Jimin! Don't be a coward!" The voice's still echoing in his head. Jimin felt his tears run down again and they're blurring his sight, but he still keep on running until his body surrenders and he fell hard on the ground. His wholeness kissed the warm rocky surface of the pavement, and he felt pain all over.

Jimin tried with all his might to get on his feet, blood streams down his cheeks and in his arm, joining his sweat and tears, but he don't care, he wanted to go home so he run again.

"Jimin.. why are you so weak? You have to do something.. make them suffer Jimin..." the voice started again and it's making him so sick.

"Please go away, I don't want to hear you.." Jimin silenty pleads, he's covering his ears while running. He feels so tired now and his throat so dry. He wanted to give up, but he tried a little more, he can see the building now. He's close to his home now, his refuge, his comfort zone.

It gave him energy just thinking of it. He run a little more.

"Jimin, you can't hide..." here they are again, whispering.

Jimin opened the door of his unit and slammed it hard. "AHHHHHH!!!!" He screamed so hard. "Gooo!!!!" He get down on his knees and cupped his head.

"Jimin, don't let them hurt you..." the voice continued.

"Stopppp!!!" Jimin reached a vase and throw it, smashing the big mirror on the wall of his living room. A loud shattering sound enveloped the place, then scattered pieces of the mirror were all over.

He was already numb, he was not aware that a small piece of broken glass had pricked his face and fresh blood now started to flow.

"No!! I won't listen to you!" Jimin was shouting. He was not afraid to show his true emotions because he's at home now. He tried hard to be brave, but his inner demons don't go away, its getting stronger and bolder.

"What if he comes back? They will shut you down... and he will take your place... and the beautiful life that you are enjoying now... would you just let them do that on you?"

"I won't believe you! Never!!" Jimin cried hard as he screamed this words. "No one will take my place, I am Jimin!"

"Haha! Can you hear yourself? You don't even know your past.. or you really don't have one.."

Jimin grabbed another vase and throw them. A big fragment from the broken vase fell in front of him. They glistened as he looked at it, slowly, Jimin tried to reach for it. His hand was shaking as he pick them. He was not aware that his grip was so tight, blood quickly gushed from his hand, but there was no pain.

He wants to escape in this world, to escape from this confusion. Jimin didn't feel so down in his entire life, only now, and he wanted to erase everything, to bring everything backward, to start again from the beginning.

Jimin pointed the broken fragment of the vase into his throat. There was no pain, but his hand shakes as he slowly cut his own flesh. Again, there was no pain, but his mind was already empty, and finally the voices inside his head fades.

He was relieved, he finally find tranquility inside him. Jimin closed his eyes, he wanted to rest his weary body now.