The Secrets Hidden Within The Dairies Of The Nations

Breaking An American

Matthew had successfully managed to avoid speaking to Alfred, as by the time the American had entered the meeting room it was already crowded and he had Abel and Laura sitting next to him. Though he couldn't help but wince when he noticed just how red his brothers eyes were, there was no way that was all from last night so he most have been crying earlier today. 

"Mon petit lapin what is wrong?" Francis asked worriedly when he noticed the state that Alfred was in. Alfred tried to give him a reassuring smile but it wasn't fooling  anyone especially not Francis. The Frenchman gestured for Alfred to sit next to him and as soon as he did he pulled the American into a hug, which Alfred quickly melted into, Francis gave some of the best hugs in the whole world.  

Gilbert gave Matthew a pointed look as he took the seat next to Alfred, said Canadian stubbornly ignored the look. Before Gilbert picked up the book so that he could read, hopefully he would be able to pick the American's spirits up this way. Or he could sink them even faster, it all depends on what the next couple entries were. And unfortunately the American was in for a very rough time. 

Matthew sometimes enjoys being invisible because he fears that if he were more like Alfred, everyone would hate him as much as they hate Alfred too. 

Alfred flinch at this and Francis instinctively tightened his hold the American. Gilbert reached over and placed his hand on Alfred's shoulder while he read the next entry. 

After the fall of Communism... Russia didn't know what to do. When he sucked up his pride and asked America for help. America laughed. 

Ivan winced at this while he stared numbly down at his slightly shaking hands, God had it hurt for his old friend to laugh in his face when all he wanted was some help. Yao quickly reached over and pulled the Russian into a tight hug in a desperate attempt to keep the Russian from becoming numb to the world again. 

Alfred flinched almost violently at this, causing Francis to let go of him and for Gilbert's hand to fall off of his shoulder. When Ivan had asked for his help he had genuinely believed that the Russian was messing with him. After everything that had happened, all the damage they had caused each other, the mere thought of Ivan wanting his help had seemed like a poorly timed joke. But it hadn't been a joke and laughing at the desperate nation was one of his biggest regrets, one he'll never forgive himself for.. 

"Ivan I-" He began only to freeze up when he saw the venomous glare that Yao was giving him, if looks could kill he would already be six feet under. He adverted his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, why was he such an idiot? He should have know that Ivan wasn't joking. If only he had taken the Russian more seriously he could have mended their broken bond before it was ruined forever. 

Gilbert gave Alfred a concerned look when he noticed how dark the American;s eyes were getting. He decided to quickly read the next entry, he didn't know that this entry would only make things worse. 

Japan isn't comfortable with people touching him... It wasn't always that way. Actually before the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan loved hugs. Mostly from America. But ever since WWII Japan doesn't trust anyone anymore. Because the one he trusted most ended up hurting him in the end... And America will never forgive himself for it. 

Kiku winced slightly as he wrapped his arms around himself, some of his old scars began to ache. Yao tentatively placed a hand on the Japanese man's shoulder only to quickly remove it when Kiku flinched. He stared sadly at his little brother before he turned to glare at Alfred once again. 

Said American was hunched over and he had his hands covering his mouth as he went pale and started shaking, he was covering his mouth to not only muffle his sobs but also to kprevent himself from throwing up. He felt absolutely sick at the reminder of what he had done, he had just been so angry at the time but that was no excuse for what he had done. Why was it that the only thing he could do was hurt people? He looked up and paled further when he saw that Yao's glare had turned almost murderous. But before he could say anything a single statement resounded through out the meeting room. 

"Why do you hurt so many people Alfred?"

Everyone had expected it to come from Yao, but it didn't. It came from Matthew. The Canadian was staring at his brother with an unreadable expression on his face while everyone else stared at him in shock. Alfred's head snapped up to stare at his older brother and his heart instantly sank when he saw the coldness in the Candian's violet eyes. Had Matthew found out about him looking through his photos and was mad at him for it or did his brother hate him just as much as everyone else did? 

Before he could even attempt to say anything Gilbert made a strangled choking sound, which startled everyone, before he began to rad the next entry. 

Dear Diary,

A little know secret is that I despise myself. I'm just figuring it out now. I don't belong. What the other nations say about me is true. I'm stupid, annoying, and violent. Not only am I realizing it, but so are my people. So much for being a hero - America

The room was filled with a chilling silence as everyone sat frozen in shock, They sat like that for a good half hour before everyone regained their senses. But by the time everyone had snapped out of their shock Alfred was long gone. Almost everyone quickly got up and scrambled for the door, all of them desperate to find Alfred. However they all froze fearfully when the most horrifying sound filled the conference building. 

A gun shot. 

~To Be Continued~