With Memories, We Forget

Chapter 32

Emil was holding onto Leon as he tried again and again. His brother was gone. Sobs turned to hiccups when the cell phone died. "Storebror!"

Leon attempted to rub his back softly. He wanted to help but how was he supposed to? By saying hey don't worry he could be temporarily dead for several days and take months to heal and always be mutilated? That don't worry about his economy because if he really is dead then another person will be Norway's personification? No way would he decide to be an asshole to his new boyfriend who just lost his brother.

Tino, Berwald and the boys slowly stopped their crying after they could no longer produce tears. A personification couldn't just die! Could they? Could a plane crash kill them? They hoped to hell not.

Matthias was staring in horror. After so long his throat couldn't bear him screaming and he stopped. How was he supposed to go on without him? Finally after centuries he got him back. Never would he hear his voice, or hold him again. See him again or be in the same room of him again. Never could he think of him again without the pain of grief.

Lukas was gone. His Lukas.

Matthias remembered joking around with him about being a Kohler before he proposed. About when he would finally say I love you in Danish, to which he promised on their wedding day as he played with his ring. He remembered how he got defensive when Matthias called his tunic a dress. Remembered the coldness of their first kiss and the fight leading up to it. Matthias remembered the exact words he wrote as vows and how he tried to get Lukas to tell him what his were.

He remembered them as kids, before getting together, deciding never would they date someone because kissing was weird. When he first got a crush on Lukas and was panicking because Lukas wasn't a girl. Followed by him asking Lukas if he was secretly a girl. The Dane remembered the bruise on his cheek after that. He remembered playing house with Emil and Lukas wanting to murder both of them because they made him the wife. How after, when they played, they rotated the wife role. Matthias did not talk to anyone about that part. Something the brothers respected since he could shoot back at them.

Matthias remember how hallow he felt as soon as Lukas was taken. How hard it was that he had to raise Iceland, who looked just like him. How he rushed for him to grow up in hopes of an opening to attack. To get his Lukas back. How even though they didn't remember that was still his Lukas.

He remember the coffee Lukas dumped on him. Lukas yelling saying they would never be together. Accusing him of hurting Emil because Emil had a crush on him. Matthias remembered the kiss. Their final kiss. And he wished he could forget it, that he could forget it would be their last.

He wished he could forget everything about the memories. That Lukas remembered. That they were engaged. Wished he forgot that he threw away the ring cursing it. Wished that he could just forget.

Most importantly he would trade Lukas's life with his own. He wished he was still alive. That for one last time, they could be together till ragnarok just like they planned when they were foolish children still imagining finding more personifications to expand their family until they could be there own family.

But he couldn't forget. The memories was all he had left. Even if he wished to forget everything because of them, even though he could fake that he forgot it all, they would always be a memory. A part of him that would be with him his whole life. A part of him that he couldn't fix for the better. A part of him he needed with his lover no longer around.