90 Days

Day 70.

*Zayn's POV*

I sat there typing up my essay.

I then heard singing coming from the bathroom. I've heard niall play singing but he sounded really good now. I got distracted and I went and I put my ear up to the door and he was singing a slow song I'd never heard before.

Then I think of the start
And it echoes a spark
And I remember the magic electricity
Then I look in my heart
There's a light in the dark
Still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me
That I wanna keep
Please don't leave
Please don't leave

His voice cracked when he was singing and I knew he was crying. I feel so bad. I want to go in but I'm wondering if this time he  should be left alone right now. 

I went and sat back down and continued to type my essay and the singing stopped. By the time I finished up my essay he was still not out of the shower and I heard the toilet flush meaning the water had went cold and he was heating it back up. I laid in my bed and waited till he came out.

When he did he seemed perfectly fine. "Finished with your essay want me to-" and I cut him off by wrapping my arm around his waist and putting the other on the back of his head pulling him against me into a hug.

"What's this for?" He asked me.

"I don't know." I said and he slowly wrapped his arms around me.

He sighed. "Sometimes I get in my feelings about past relationships even if I don't miss them. You heard me in the bathroom didn't you?" He said.

"Yeah." I said and he sighed again.

"I make songs sometimes. You know when I write. And they're good ones. But they're sad and sometimes I really feel them and I reminisce." He said.

"If I wouldn't have heard you I would be so convinced you're good at concealing your feelings. You came out the bathroom with a whole different attitude." I said.

"Cause who wants to be sad? It's not a very good feeling. It's the one people hate the most but sometimes I love it. It gets people to feel. Make us realize that we have a variety of emotions and one that is so deep and makes you feel so many ways is sadness, and we don't allow ourselves to be sad enough. But then you can be too sad. No one wants to feel it because sometimes it's dangerous but it's so necessary... in moderations. So when I'm sad I take my times to be sad but then I flip my switch, a lot of people can't or they take supplements to you know stop feeling as sad but I appreciate that I can and I appreciate the feeling to a certain extent." He said.

"You're so poetic at times." I said.

He walked forward and made us lay on the bed but he turned away from me and laid his back against my chest.

"No, turn to me." I said and he did and my hand went back to the small of his back.

He looked at me and I cupped his face. Niall was so beautiful. More attractive than anyone I had ever been with. Way more diverse with his character traits too. He looked away and I picked his chin up and he looked up at me and I continued to look in his eyes.

"What?" He asked now blushing looking away again.

"I can't look at you?" I asked him.

"You're staring." I said.

"I'm falling in love." I said.

"Lust." He said as if he were correcting me.

"No... I said what I said."

He really then looked up at me and he was really red.

"Really?" He asked me.

"There's doubt in your heart?" I asked him.

"Nobody has... I mean, like-" he began and just couldn't find the words.

"I thought you've said you've loved before." I said.

"I never said it was reciprocated." He said.

"Well I'm going to really love you in the near future. Get ready to be loved." I said.

"I don't even know how to-" He said like he was panicking.

"Shh shh, it's not really something you prepare for, just something you accept. You gonna accept it?" I asked him.

"Uhh Yes." He said blushing.

"And when I make love to you it's going to be like never before." I said and he turned a darker shade of red.

I leaned up and slowly kissed his forehead. He grabbed my hand as if he was nervous and I spotted his fingers in between mine confidently and we just laid there.