Place called Home

Road to Perdition

Put simply this is unmitigated disaster. I will have to do some damage control just to keep my job. Working with children comes with stringent requirements about personal character.

Thankfully the 'Block News' itself is quite innocent and it's my sketch, not my photo that graces the front page. I can argue that the sketch was printed without my consent. I can go on the offensive and notify the principal about the news first thing Monday morning.

Sam takes me back to my room. We walk together holding hands like a couple. We are hounded by people and well wishes on the way. I can see varying reactions in the eyes of different people. Most people are genuinely happy for us, some girls look visibly jealous, I can even see disappointment in the eyes of few men. There are tourists holing the news, pointing at us. I give everyone a sickly smile and pretend how happy I am.

Thankfully the business is just starting and everyone is busy setting up. Some people want us to linger and give them all the juicy details, but they are discouraged by a look from Sam. His whole demeanour indicates that he can't wait to get me alone. He is hurrying me to my room.

In my room I am greeted by Luke who is waiting for me with Joe. I am now gripped by a sudden worry, I haven't even thought about Luke. I am not sure what his reaction is going to be. We haven't decided what we are going to tell him. Luke is also unsure about us, he is keeping his distance. Joe leaves us, so we are left alone with Luke.

Sam leads me to where Luke is standing. He bends down to come at the eye level with Luke. "No hugs for daddy today?". I bend down with him "One for me as well please.". Sam and me, we are both bending close together, asking for a hug. Suddenly all Luke's hesitation is gone. He comes quickly to us and both of us give him a very big hug at the same time.

Luke gives me an extra cuddle, I cuddle him back. Sam bending down near me literally pouts "Why does Alice get extra cuddle.". "Because you are already my dad but she is going to be my new mom." Luke replies innocently.

I look at Sam with dread, he looks back at me intently. The look indicates that, he wants me to go along with Luke's assumption. I am not sure about this. But I don't want to argue with Sam about this matter in front of Luke. At the same time I want to discourage Luke from thinking me as his future mother. I scoop Luke up in my hug and sit on the two seater sofa with him sitting near me. "I am still the same Miss Alice for you. You can call me Alice without the Miss at home, but at school you have to call me Miss Alice."

I suddenly remember that Luke will be transferred to Kate's class when he comes to school. I don't want that to happen anymore. I will talk to the principal myself and request her not to transfer Luke. I will admit that I was wrong and she was right, being in my class is in Luke's best interest. I am pretty sure she will agree with my request, especially when Sam uses his own persuasion technique.

Sam comes near me to sit on the other seat of sofa. He is now sitting near me with Luke in the middle. We are presenting a picture of a happy family, a couple with a child. I come to painful realisation that I will loose Luke as well when the deal I have made with Sam comes to an end.

"I will get a TV in here. So when I come over we can watch something together", he offers casually. I refuse to let him get TV in here, I tell him that I don't want anything from him. "We will see", he remarks cryptically.

Thankfully Sam has to leave to go to work. He gives both of us a hug again. He ruffles Luke's hair, tells him to be a good boy and listen to me. He then gives me a quick kiss goodbye and leaves my room.

I am distracted while cooking, thinking about all the events that are happening and that I have no control over. I make simple chicken soup as that is all I am capable of making, Luke is still recovering as well. He is hovering around me, asking me all the innocent questions he has about me and Sam. I only give him some absent minded answers. He gets quite upset and I have to soothe him by lying to him about my relationship with Sam.

We eat dinner. I get him ready for bed. I take him back to his and Sam's room. I tuck him in bed and read him a story.

I lock both of my doors. I don't bother with the dead bolt. I know the lock is going to be useless anyway, but I am trying to make a point.

I go to bed wearing baggiest pyjama pants and an ugliest top, but I am not sleepy, I stay awake till midnight deciding how I should behave when Sam comes. I haven't reached any decision when he arrives. He doesn't bother knocking or even picking the lock. He opens the front door with a key, probably obtained from Gary. He casually strolls in the bedroom as if he owns it.

He stroll towards my bed. The implication is clear, if I don't get up from bed he is going to join me. I quickly get up. He looks at the way I am dressed for the bed with severe disdain. "If you wear something like this again, I will strip it down myself", it's not a threat but a promise.

"If you don't want me to join you on your bed then get changed and come outside. You have 5 minutes to get dressed and come out", he continues strolling through my bedroom to my kitchen and living room.

When I enter the kitchen, Sam is searching through my freeze. He finds the chicken soup leftover from the dinner. He goes through my kitchen cabinets and retrieves a soup bowl. He ladles himself some soup and heats it in the microwave. I am watching him with annoyance. He has made himself at home here.

I can't stand him taking over my kitchen. I shoo him out of the way to get my kitchen back. He gives over the kitchen easily, like a victorious nation conceding a small territory to the defeated nation after winning over the their whole county.

He sprawls on the sofa and watches me making a toast and waiting for soup to heat up. I think I will accept his offer of getting the TV in here after all. I have no guarantee but there is a small hope that he will be distracted watching the TV and not watch me like he is doing.

I take the heated up soup and toast to him. He chuckles at my stubbornness and mulish expression. I put the soup bowl and toast on the coffee table in front and start to leave. But he stops me from going and pulls my hand to make me sit on his lap. I resist him and he concedes the defeat again and lets me sit near him rather than on his lap.

He conveys to me with a look, that I better stay put where I am by his side. He then ignores me and starts eating the soup with gusto. Soon he is licking the bowl and asking for more. I get up two more time and serve him the soup and repeat the same process. Soon the leftover soup is finished and he is wiping his mouth on the tissue. He is sitting contently sprawled on my small sofa looking like a big jungle cat who has just fed.

I remind him that his lunch hour must be over and he should go back to work. I produce a fake yawn and tell him that I am tired and want to sleep. My acting skills leave much to be desired and he is not fooled but he agrees gracefully to leave me alone and go back to work.

I get a fitful sleep and wake up bit late on Sunday. I hurry through my morning rituals and go to the Sunday church.

During the mass I pray, for deliverance from my predicament, guidance for my situation, solution to my problem. I pray to the god that I don't believe in. I do believe in existence of god, that all mighty entity that made all the universe possible. What I don't believe is, that god cares what happens to us as individuals one way or another. For him we are just a speck of dust in the air, a grain of sand in the vast ocean.

Even if the god cares for us, I don't think he will be able to help me out. I have made a deal with the Devil. I am already walking on the Road to Perdition.