Hey there!
Wow you're really popular! Thats so cool :3 I feel really honored to have gotten a request from you <3
Onto the actual review!
You told me in your request to pick the book that seems the most interesting... but they all look really cool so I'm going to do a mini-review for two of your most popular books.
Con Artist Legacy
I really love how you introduce the story, and the line "The man in the reflection would've been unrecognizable to my own mother; an unsettling feeling, to say the least." (Prologue, Page 1). Very intriguing. It really pulls the reader right in, and you think "okay something big's about to happen!".
I also love your crystal clear and beautiful grammar--another thing that is 100% guaranteed to draw the reader in. Thank you for such an easy read! The only thing that was slightly confusing was the sir-to-young-Olivia transition... but it clears up quickly. Argh you're such a compelling writer :) it's hard to stop clicking the "next" page. I like how your verb tense is consistent.
Oh, and another thing I like is the characters... Elena is insanely annoying X( but that's is perfect. We need those annoying characters in stories and it's very difficult for an author to balance it all out... but you did it magnificently. :)
Recollection of Questionable Events
In (2) Help, I Am Loser there are verb tense changes... check those out! They're in the flashback. Get somebody to look them over with you.
""Well alright Ms Torre, I can't wait to hear this infamous story."" ((2) Help, I Am Loser) It's that line that really get the pace going. The character is addressing a question we're all asking.
Very well played.
I sincerely enjoyed reading all of these. Thank you for giving me such an opportunity, and keep writing detective/mystery stories... you have talent.
~Julian
Date: 25 June 2014
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BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! II
Short StoryCritiques and suggestions of books.
