BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! II

Innocence Lost

Hello!

Let's start with the title.

It packs a punch. To the gut. Then reading the description and reading the words 'child soldier'? Double wammy.

That's a good thing.

Catching the reader's eye like that... you really transport the reader into this life of hardship in Africa. You give us just enough details to understand life and infer what it must be like, but not too many that you're going to bore us. Keep it up!

I really like the use of the simile "his body is tense like an animal". It really shows that at our core, we are almost like animals, and we revert to instincts when the situation gets out of hand.

I watched the movie Blood Diamond a year ago, and this reminded me of it. Please please PLEASE keep writing. You beautifully captured the life in rural Africa, and kept their innocence. There's a lot of dramatic irony, as in we know what's going to happen to him, but he doesn't. It's tugging at my heart strings :'(

Please keep writing! Even if it's only 3 parts long, (as you stated in your author's note), the final product will be fabulous.

Questions the reader is asking at this point:

"What will happen to him?"

"And what will happen to his family? Kevin?"

"Who exactly were those men?"

This is awesome!

Sincerely,

Julian

Date: 24 June 2014