Hi!
I don't have the time to read ALL the 84 parts (good job, that's a lot of writing :) you're really passionate) but what I did get from the parts...
-Nice spelling
-Great grammar
-Easy to follow
-Clear ideas
-Good pace
With that said, there's nothing more to say about your story!
~Julian
Date: 25 June 2014
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BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! II
Short StoryCritiques and suggestions of books.