BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! II

Blood

Hey there,

I really REALLY enjoyed the descriptions. I can really visualize it all.

Argh the only thing (extremely easy to correct) is spacing. Where one idea ends is basically where you press enter.

A good place to hit the 'enter' button is where you write "blood".

Example:

"[...] hell. Blood. Dripping from the faucets, [...]"

Correction:

"[...] hell.

Blood.

Dripping from the faucets, [...]"

It really packs a punch, to the gut for the reader. I like it. I really like the emphasis you put on the word blood. Even BETTER correction, italicize the word 'blood'.

Double Corrected:

"[...] hell.

Blood.

Dripping from the faucets, [...]"

So every time you write "Blood." as a statement, separating the phrases, italicize and press enter. It really adds to the passage!

I really enjoyed the description. You have potential, now write it out! :D

~Julian

Date: 23 June 2014