Gerard wants to go bed early tonight. When gerard would get upset, he'd go to bed early. He always tells me that he's tired. I always knew he was lying, only because he hated when I would tell him it's time for bed. I offered to come tuck him in but he insisted he'd do it himself. I watched him slowly walk upstairs and hear the door close. My heart broke when I heard it. I could here his footsteps above my head. They were slow and timid. At one point the stop and I hear him fall to the floor.
I ran up stairs but our bedroom door was locked. I played with the doorknob, trying to get it to open. It wouldn't budge. All these thoughts ran through my head. Suicide? Breakdown? I don't know what's happening. I felt my heart go up my throat, ready to come out of my mouth. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't force out tears I was so scared. I gained enough strength to kick the handle off the door. I push open my now broken door. He wasn't in the floor in our bedroom, so I look in the bathroom. He was on the floor crying. He had his back facing me. Gerard didn't even turn around to look at me, he just cried while looking at the wall. He looked like he slipped and fell, but on what?
I moved closer to him and peek around him. ⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠
A razor blade, covered in blood, laid next to his thigh. He had on hand covering his fore-arm. A small drop a blood ran down his arm. I quickly turn him around. I turn him around so fast that his hand slipped off his arm. There were 10 to 15 cuts against his wrist, there was so much blood, it was basically a bloody mess. I didn't say anything, all I did was take a wet towel and lay it on gerards arm. His crying spiked up for a quick second. I never imagined gerard doing something like this.
"Why did you so this?" I asked him, trying to be as calm as possible. He leaned his head against my shoulder and mumbled "I'm sorry." I wipe the towel down, exposing his cuts running up and down his arm. They were deep and swollen. He has so many scars on him, ruining his beautiful skin. "I-I got so upset I couldn't help myself. When I got 5 cuts down, my knees collapsed underneath me." Gerard cried. We sat there for a while, until gerard practicality passed out. I pick gerard up in my arms and laid him in the bathtub. Gerards temperature had spiked and he was sweating. I removed all of his clothing and place his face under the faucet. I turn on the cold water, I try to hold his head up but I'm having trouble moving his head back. So I quickly removed my jeans and socks. I hop into the tub with him. I sit up and slip gerard over my lap. I kept his face underneath the faucet, occasionally pulling his face out, so I don't drown him. His head started rolling around and he squinted. I pull his head out of the water and push his wet hair out of his face. He opened his eyes and sat up. I push his shoulder back to slow him down.
Water splashed onto his cuts. Gerard winced and whined. He instantly want out of the tub. I slip out from underneath of him and get out of the tub, in my sopping wet boxers and shirt. I grab a towel and help gee out of the tub. I get completely undressed and put on a clean pair of boxers. I pick him up and take him back to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed with a towel wrapped around him. I go to the closet and get out some pajamas. Gerard puts his panties on and chooses a band shirt, with a black pair of pajama pants. I got him to follow me to the bathroom so I can brush his hair.
He looked at his pink cuts, while I brushed his hair. "I'm sorry I scared you daddy." Gerard apologized. I reach around and kiss the side of his cheek. "It's okay, baby. I'm just glad your okay. But what I want to know is, why did you lock the door?" I ask him. He turned around and looked at me with confusion. "The door was locked?" He asked. Wait he didn't know? So I just broke my fucking door for no reason. God damn it. "Nevermind." I tell gerard. He shrugs and looks back at the mirror. I send him back to our room. I clean up a little bit before joining him.
Gerard was curled up into a ball. I chuckle at how adorable he looks. I get his pasifier and put it in his mouth. He latched onto it and curled up into a tighter ball. I lay down next to him and cover us both with a blanket. But as soon as our skin made contact, gerard started shaking. I run my hand up and down his arm to calm him down. His shaking became a little less violent. He rolls over to face me. I kiss his forehead, so gerard opened his eyes. He pull his pasifier out and asks me "Why do you put up with me?" He's never asked me that before, I mean he always wants to now if I love him. I pull him close to my chest. "Now don't make it sound like you're a burden to me. I love you because of your personality, your heart, and your faith in me. I want you to be in my life forever, because of how perfect you are." I explain to him. He nods and kisses my neck. "I fell in love with you because you're handsome, your caring, and you would do anything to protect me. You saved me from burt, that's why your special to me frankie." whispered gerard. I could feel his eyelashes brush against my chest as he fell asleep. I cover him with one more blanket and kiss him goodnight.
This night didn't go the way I hopped it would.
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This one was rushed with no thought put into it.
