After last night, I felt like a piece of shit. I never force him into stuff, but last night I think I did. He's never yelled "stop" so loud. I'm just an asshole who doesn't listen.
I sat in the bathtub, being depressed. What's super weird is I haven't been depressed since high school. I was pretty much that emo kid that got pushed around. I questioned my sexuality through out school, in my junior year I just said that I was straight. I would self harm and drink every night, until my parents caught me and put me in therapy. It didn't work cause I continued drinking until I met gerard.
My parents still call me everyday asking me "if I'm okay". Like come on I'm 25 now and got over that shit. But I've never been so depressed till now. I for some reason had the sudden urge to cut. I look at my razor, I picked it up and examined it. I threw it out of the tub, because I need to stop acting like a teenager. I pulled at the back of my hair and tucked my face into my knees. I stayed like that for a while. The water hitting my back became cold, so I knew I needed to get out.
I got out and looked at myself in the mirror. I pushed my wet hair out of my face. I slipped on my boxers and looked at my tattoos. Only a few of them have meanings. A lot of the others didn't. I looked at the tattoo on my hand that said hopeless. Yeah that's how I feel right now.
I took a deep breath and looked back up at the mirror. There was a heavy pressure on my shoulders, almost pushing me down. I tensed my fist. I lifted my fist and went to punch the mirror. I quickly stopped myself, because I didn't want gee to come in here and step on the glass.
I walk out and go to my room. I get my avenged sevenfold band shirt, black ripped jeans, and my black converse. I dry my hair and style it. I run down the stairs and jump off the last two steps. Gerard looked at me, with a pasifier in his mouth. He was probably waiting for me to make breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to cook, so I made the both of us a bowl of cereal. I bring it to him in the living room. He looks at me with confusion. We don't eat in the living room so I understand why he's confused.
We eat while we watch tv. When he finished he sat his bowl on the coffee table. I took his bowl back to the kitchen and turn on the coffee machine. "Kitten, do you want coffee?" I ask gerard from the kitchen. He takes a moment to respond. "Yeah" He yells back.
I get another mug and fix two cups of coffee. I bring his coffee to him. He loves any type of coffee. When I make it, it's either black or has a ton of creamer. Today I just made it black. I handed him his cup. "It's hot, so watch out." I warned him. He nodded and took a small sip.
We sat there quietly for a long time. "Daddy are you okay, you were in the shower for a long time?" Gerard asked me, sounding pretty concerned. I just smiled and said "I got a little distracted while I was in there." He made it seem like he believed me, but I knew he didn't. Honestly I don't care right now.
He cuddled up next to me. I felt a little better. I'm probably gonna be a clingy all day. I wrap my arm around him. He pulled his arms around my waist. I looked at him and he looked up at me. We kiss and it makes my heart flutter.
I lift him up and hold his face. I kiss him again and whispered "I love you". He smiled as we kissed. He whispered back "I love you too."
I lay one hand on his thigh and move my hand up. I push his skirt up a little with my finger. He tugs the bottom of my shirt. I release our lips for a moment to remove my shirt. When I do he looks at my torso and runs his hand up my abs. He bites his lip as he trails my abs with his finger. I pull his skirt off. He pulls me back in for another kiss.
He runs his fingers threw my hair, slightly tugging every few seconds. I move done his neck, stopping a few times to suck. I got to that one spot on his neck, I nibbled for a couple seconds. He flinched when I bit down on his collar bone. I lifed my head from his neck and saw all the hickeys and bruises I left behind.
He let out some heavy breaths. "Whoops, I left a few things behind." I giggled at him. He blushed. "I don't care." He growled and pulled me back to kiss me roughly. I slick my tongue into his mouth and let him suck. He would occasionally let out a breathy moan.
I lifted his leg a little bit. "Do you want to?" I asked him. (You know there's this thing called consent, and I thought I would try that for this chapter) "yes" He answered in a breathy voice.
I lifted his legs higher and prepared us. I grabbed his ass and lifted his hips for a better angle. He licked his lips as I entered him. He arched his back as I went deeper.
His legs were pretty high up but we weren't at the correct angle. "Move your knees over my shoulders." I instructed him. He did as he was told and moved his knees over my shoulders. "That's better." I whispered.
I sped up. He arched his neck and his jaw dropped releasing a moan. I smiled and sped up only after seconds. I want to kiss him but I'm not sure how flexible he is. "How flexible are you?" I ask him. He breathes heavly. "Why don't you find out?" Gerard said sexually. Wow, he talking dirty now.
I push his legs back against his chest. "Does that hurt?" I asked him. He shook his head, so I pushed my self in between his legs. I connect our lips. God he is flexible. I speed up again. I was starting to get tired so I went as fast I could. He breathed harder and moaned at the top of his lungs.
"Frankie, please slow..." He stopped to take a breath. "Slow down!" He yelled. I wanted to continue at this speed but I didn't want to stop in the middle of this again. I slowed down a little but I'm still going pretty fast. He sighs in relief but still moans.
We continue at that pace for a while, until gerard said "Go as fast as you want." I smirked and go at that pace again. He arched his neck and back. I watched a few tears run down his face. I feel him tensing all his muscles. He was moaning so much that drool was dripping down his cheeks. After another minute, his moaning started to sound more like crying.
"Do I need to stop?" I asked him. He cried or moaned "N-no you don't need to to stop!" I kinda got worried but continued.
I finally came, he screamed as I did. It didn't sound like pleasure scream, it sounded more like a painful scream. He came after another minute. He put his skirt back on and ran to the bathroom. He slammed and locked the door. I put my clothing back on and jog to the bathroom door. I knock on it and ask him "what's the matter kitten?" He sobbed for a couple seconds. "It hurt so bad!" He yelled back.
Son of a bitch, I didn't use enough lube. "I'm sorry sweetie just open the door." I called to him. I hear him stand up and unlock the door. He opened the door, his face was red and wet. There was a stream of blood running down his leg. I began to panic. I get a rag and start wiping off the blood.
"You should have told me to get more lube!" I yell at him. He jumps from being startled. More tears form in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you mad." He whimpered. Well I'm mad now, because he didn't tell me to add more lube.
I sighed and continued to clean up his blood. I changed his outfit, cause there was blood on his skirt, socks, and panties. He needed to be punished. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to the living room. I laid him on my lap. I lift his skirt and quickly spanked him 10 times. He slipped off my lap and started rubbing his ass "I didn't do anything!" He yelled. "I'm sorry but that's going to happen every time you lie to me." I strictly told him.
He dropped his jaw and yelled "That's not fair!" I was trying to be more responsible with him. I don't care if he's my soon-to-be husband, I still have to teach him right from wrong. "Do you want to be put in time out?" I asked him. He pouted and shook his head slowly.
I patted next to me. He crawled up and and cuddled with me. I knew he wouldn't stay mad long.
He's so special ❤
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This one is a long one😄
