Gerard occasionally goes to sleep after sex. But he literally just fingered himself in front of me! Look it was hot to watch, but super weird to fall asleep after like nothing happened. He's never done that in front of me, hell probably never by himself either. Gerard is so innocent, I didn't understand why his sexual side would come out all of a sudden.
When he fell asleep, I left the room and closed the door. I lean against the wall and cover my mouth. I was completely shocked that he did that. All I could picture was him pushing his fingers in deeper. I thought it was sexy but I was so uncomfortable. I hope it wasn't obvious that I was uncomfortable. Probably not, because he did that for 10 minutes. I was so turned on, but I wasn't getting a boner because I was uncomfortable. He must have enjoyed it, but he's pretty good at acting so he might have been faking it.
I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. That image of him still wasn't leaving my mind. I splash my face once more and try to think of something else. Our wedding is in a couple days, so I try thinking about that. It wasn't helping, because I imagined what we would do after the wedding. I can't get my mind out of the gutter. It's taking me places that I don't want to be. I'm imagining gerard in a way that I've never imagined him before. There was a part of me that though that gerard liked being with burt. But considering how terrified gerard would get everytime he saw burt, tells me he absolutely hated being with burt. Now that I think about it, gerard has a bad relationship with almost everyone.
The only people he's really close to is me and mikey. He has a pretty good relationship with my family, but gerard has only met them once. He has a terrible relationship with his parents. We've gone over this. I completely understand why he hates his parents. But remember when his mom came to visit?(chapter 1) I think gerard could have handled that better, but his mom had no room to be a bitch. I'm getting too angry.
I realized that my mind was out of the gutter, causing my mind to go back in. I slam my fist in to the wall. A dent formed on the wall. I tumble back, holding my fist. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but I didn't want gerard to wake up. I'm surprised he didn't wake up from me punching the wall. "Son of a bitch!" I mumbled. This time I didn't bleed, but my knuckles are bright red.
I sneak back upstairs to check on gee. I open the door quietly, but gerard wasn't on the bed. I open the wider. I check around the room to find gerard sitting in the corner of the room, he's shaking. I think he heard me but he was too scared to come downstairs. I crouch down in the corner with him. He looked at me with a look of terror and worry. "W-what was that sound?" Gerard asked me. I didn't want to tell him why I punched the wall. I just said "I just knocked over something." He gulped and nodded. I decided he should come downstairs and eat.
Gerard didn't want to follow me. "Why?" I asked him. He looked down at his legs and blushed. I push his long black hair out of his face. "I'm embarrassed about what I did in front of you. I only did it cause I thought you liked it." He told me, continuing to look at his legs. Wait, what? "So you didn't like it?" I asked him, bringing his face up. I could feel his face heat up against my fingertips. "N-no, I liked it, but it was embarrassing to do in front of you." He responded. I kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear "I thought it was kinda hot to watch." He looks at me and starts turning red. "You did?" Gerard asked. I smiled and told him, "Yeah, but don't do it if it's too embarrassing for you." He nodded and kissed me. We kiss for awhile, before we go downstairs.
I take him to the kitchen. He just wants cereal, so I make him a bowl. We both eat and talk about earlier. He still seems embarrassed by the whole situation. I reminded him that he doesn't have to something if he doesn't want to. All he did was nod and continued eating. He goes to the living room, while I clean up. I go to the living room, expecting to see gerard watching tv. But he's cleaning up. He was putting his toy's away and putting his board games back. After a couple minutes he straightened up the couch. I was surprised that he was cleaning, because every time I asked him to clean, he'd have a melt down. "Why are you cleaning?" I asked gerard. He shrugged like he didn't have a reason. I crouched down next to him to help, but he pushed my hand away. He must have been feeling guilty about something.
"What's the matter?" I asked him. He looked at me, but quickly back down to the board games. I push his hair to the side and asked him again. "I made you uncomfortable. Didn't I?" Gerard said, with his eyes filling with tears. I didn't want him to start crying so I lied. "No, I wasn't uncomfortable, I thought it was hot. Now why are you cleaning? You never clean." I told gerard. He stopped himself from crying and said, "Because I thought I made you uncomfortable, so I wanted to make it up to you by cleaning, daddy." He hasn't called me daddy in a little while, so it made my heart flutter. I kiss him and stand up.
I go to my office to do some online shopping for gerards birthday. I pick a ton of stuff that I knows he's going to love. When I finish, I do some work. I haven't gotten much done since I've been busy. Gerard eventually joins me in my office. I give him my spinning chair, so he'll be entertained. He watched me do work and spinned in my chair. I caught up with my work and went ahead to do a little extra. Gerard was getting bored. How could I tell? He crawled up on my lap and laid his head down on my shoulder. He occasionally kissed my neck. I would reward him with a kiss on the side of his head. Gerard looked at my computer, watching me type some documents. I clicked save and sat him up. I looked at gerard and smiled. Gerard blushed and smiled back.
He leans in for a kiss, but I pushed him back and kiss him. He seems suprised by the kiss, but expected it. He wants to take this much further, by slipping his tongue in my mouth. I don't want to take this too far, so I do the same to him. We make out for awhile. He pulled back, a string of spit was in between us. The string broke, smacking against his and my lips. We both lick it off and smile. Gerard blushed. He slips off my lap and heads to the door. He lifts his skirt slightly to tease me. I smirk and cross my legs, pretending that I got a boner. He leaves.
Something crosses my mind, how did gerard lose his virginity? That's super weird to ask but I want to know. I go to the living room where gerard is sitting on the couch, watching tv. I sit down next to him. I wait a moment before I asked him "Baby, this is super weird to ask, but how did you lose your virginity?" He looked at me with terror. "You don't know?" He asked me. I shook my head. He looked away and gulped. "I was 18, I had just ran away from home. I cried the entire time I ran away. I found an alleyway and stayed there for a long time. Until burt found me. He was sweet at first and took me to a bar. We both ate but he got super drunk." Gerard took a shaky breath before he continued.
"All of a sudden, while we were sitting there, burt got up and dragged me out. His house was across the street, so he dragged me over there. Slammed me into a wall and started to kiss me roughly. He started touching me inappropriately. I tried to push him away, but that made him more violent." I saw goosebumps form over gerards skin as he continued. "He pulled me into his room and started to tear off my clothes. When I say that he ripped my clothes in half. He called me a bitch and called me ugly. He forced his way on top of me and didn't do it gently. He did it as hard as he could, without lube. He didn't stop in till I was crying and he came twice. He fell asleep. I cried that whole night and hoped that he only did that because he was drunk. I was wrong, he was much worse." Gerard stopped himself. "I don't want to continue this story." He whispered before moving over.
He seemed to be having a hard time processing what he just said. I moved over to him and kissed his head. He rolled over and hugged my waist. He had a flash back, petrifying him. I really shouldn't have brought it up, but I wanted to know.
Oops😔
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Not 100% sure if this is a good chapter.
