My Life: A Dramatic Narrative

Butterflies Can Fly Away

6/9

I'm sure you've heard of the butterfly project. If you haven't, look it up. I'm not explaining it. But I started doing it over the summer. The names that I've used include Julia B. (who was the one who told me of the idea), Andrew, Zach, Kaitlyn, Chris, and Julia R.

But it doesn't work. You see, I actually have a frame with 16 real, dead butterflies. So I'm not afraid to kill a butterfly. I try not to. I REALLY do. But sometimes pain can get the best of you.

I hate it. I have the best life. I have a loving family, great friends, an awesome boyfriend. The only things that are wrong is my horrible health and my low self esteem. Now, technically, I'm disabled. Because of my seizure disorder, they think I'm disabled. It's funny actually. When I was in fifth grade, I got a paper saying I was eligible to get a scholarship to a college for the blind and disabled. You can say I was quite confused.

My self esteem though... Many people say that I'm not bullied and that so many people say I'm beautiful and yada yada yada. But I'm actually told I'm ugly more often. Hannah Loper once said no one would fuck me because I'm too ugly. Many people have rated me before. The highest ever got was from my arch nemesis Brady who rated me a 6. Other than that I usually get a 2. I was made fun of SO MUCH for being bisexual saying I was a waste and no one likes bisexual people. Connor has made fun of me more than words can say. I've been told a lot to go kill myself.

That was just this year. I've been told more in the past.

So I'm sorry if I self harm, it's addicting.

~Tayler