Sidemen One Shots

Jayg3r - I Fucked Up (No Shit) (Part 1)

POV - Jay

Warnings: Mentions of jealousy, anger, self-inflicted pain (not self-harm)

Word Count: 1940

-Begin One Shot-

"I am such a fucking idiot..." I said out loud, as I stood in front of the wall, leaning forward so I could hit my head on it, only to pull my head back to do it again.

"No shit Sherlock." came an American girl's voice from across the room, a tint of anger in her tone as she sat on her bed, a glare trained on me that would make even the hardest of men tremble.

"Why."

I hit my head again, 

"Did."

Another hit,

"I",

Another hit,

"Say that",

Another hit,

"To him."

This time I hit my head against the wall continuously, the pain that I was supposed to feel long gone. I hurt too much emotionally anyway to even feel any physical pain even though I deserved to feel both.

"As much as I love watching you hurt yourself, that fucking banging is giving me a migraine so I am going to ask you to stop before I dislocate your shoulder."

The cold tone the girl used was enough to make me stop immediately causing me to get slightly woozy as I stood there, my head spinning from the constant abuse that I had been putting on it. It was worth it though to not have my shoulder dislocated. I know she can do it and I have even seen her in action. It was a scary sight, to say the least.

"Thank you." said the girl, her tone still tight.

I grumbled something and turned to look at her, my vision slightly blurry but I could still somehow see the pissed off look on the smaller girls face.

I watched as she glared at me for a minute more before she sighed, her hand coming to her head as she closed her eyes and began to rub her temples, and irritated sigh coming across her lips.

"Okay, so, as much as I enjoy watching you hurt yourself because you fucked up and you hurt my best friend horribly, you need to figure out how to fix this shit ASAP."

"I doubt any of this is fixable," I said, turning so my back against the wall, using it as a support as I slid down so I could sit on the floor, my knees coming up so they were resting against my chest, my arms against my sides as I found an interesting spot on the wall to stare at.

"Maybe not," answered the girl honestly, "But it doesn't hurt to try, does it?" she asked, her normally hopeful tone coming through her anger.

"It could hurt," I answered, self-loathing filling my body as I thought about all the pain I caused. I could hurt the supposed-to-be, love of my life more than I already have. I could hurt him so much that he shuts down, never talking to anyone again, holding himself up in our once shared home, all because I was a fucking idiot.

"It could but you know what would be worse." the girl spat at me, her tone making me flinch, "Not doing a damn thing and it hurting Michael worse than it already has."

I shrugged my shoulders. What was the point, I already fucked up majorly here, there was no going back no matter what I did. I fucking let my jealousy and possessiveness of the man I claim to love, get in front of me and distract me to the point where I let the most awful things I could think of come out of my mouth, just so I could hurt him, all because I was jealous.