Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 28

"Normani-"

"No." She cuts me off. "Why are you here, Lauren?"

"Because you asked me to come by," I state and move towards the kitchen.

"So, you wouldn't be here if I hadn't asked you?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I called earlier and asked if I could see you tonight. You told me you were busy. So, no. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't contacted me."

"Mm, and I asked you to dinner last night and you didn't even bother to tell me no." She scoffs and hands me a bottle of water. "You forgot?"

"I'm sorry."

"Are you, though?" Her eyes narrow and stare straight through into my soul. "What am I to you, Lauren? Seriously? What am I?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A fair one, I'd say." She spits and walks away from me. "Tell me."

"You know what you are to me. You are everything to me." I give her a sad smile and follow her into the living room. "You know that."

"Then why doesn't it feel like it? Why does it feel like we are coming to an end? We were so happy, perfect almost. Everything was great. I know you hate me for outing you, but that was a mistake. A mistake I cannot fix. Just, what are we doing?"

"I-I just." Stopping myself, I shake my head and close my eyes. I'm close to tears right now and it's not what I need.

"You know what? I take it all back. I'll go to Anderson on Monday and tell him it was a lie. That I don't love you and that we are not together. If this is how you react when someone requests a little commitment from you, then no-" She shakes her head and steadies herself. "-I don't love you."

"Don't say that." My voice breaking, I feel my knees almost buckle. "Please don't say that unless you mean it."

"What do you want from me, Lauren?" Throwing her hands up, I can see the anger in her eyes. "What the hell do you want from me."

"I just want you."

"That's bullshit. If you wanted me, you wouldn't have avoided me for two weeks. If you wanted me, you would have talked to me, and told me what the problem was. I know I fucked up by giving Anderson your name, but I didn't do it to hurt you. I've never wanted to hurt you. But now? I don't even know what we are. I'm sorry if you wanted me to stay your secret, but I cannot live my life that way. I cannot hide my feelings. It's not who I am. If that's what you want, then I'm sorry, but you should probably leave."

"No, Normani." I move closer to her and I can see her back away. "Please don't move away from me."

"I can't be near you if you are going to walk away. I'm sorry, I just can't." Her own voice breaks and sobs wrack her body.

Taking her in my arms, she sobs uncontrollably and I feel the guilt hit me square in the chest. How could I treat her like this? How could I allow myself to push her away? She is a mess and it's all my fault. "Normani, please look at me." Curling my fingers under her chin, my gaze meets hers and my heart breaks. "I'm sorry, please don't do this."

"Don't do what?" Her voice barely above a whisper, I want to hold her forever.

"This. Don't ask me to leave. Please?"

"You don't want to be here. It's taken two weeks for me to get you to talk, and even now you are giving me nothing. I understand if you are processing everything, but you can't push me away. I don't deserve this."

"I'm scared, Normani. I'm so scared, and I couldn't be around you." I sigh and pull her down beside me on the couch. "I'm sorry."

"Can't we be scared together? That's what I'm here for. I'm here to support you."