Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 15

NORMANI POV

I never thought it possible to miss someone as much as I do right now. How did this happen? How did I manage to fall for my student, bed her, and then mess it all up? I honestly have no answers to my own questions. The night Lauren left my place, I was truly shocked by her words. Sure, I was pissed that Ally knew. She had already made it perfectly clear about how she felt, and although she had apologised, her words days before had come from somewhere. It was obviously how she saw me. I knew I could grow to cope with it, but I honestly didn't trust the woman like Lauren did. I barely know her, and now she is a part of this secret of mine.

I don't want to be secretive. It's not who I am. I don't want to, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I can't lay it all out in the open, it just simply wouldn't and couldn't happen. What I do know, though, is that I want Lauren. I will always want Lauren.

Sitting alone on a Saturday night had always been my choice, but right now, it wasn't. Lauren refused to take my calls, and she would simply come to class, and leave the second it was possible to do so. She thinks I've hurt her, but I haven't. I haven't done anything wrong. If she could just see that, then we could move past this. I'd played it over and over in my head for the past four days, and I still came up blank. Where did I go wrong? Clearly, I have somewhere along the way, because since Tuesday evening, Lauren has been unable to look at me.

......

Settled on my couch with a blanket wrapped around me, I played it over again in my head. I had to figure out where I'd gone wrong. I had to figure out how to fix this.

Last night Lauren had given me the opportunity to walk away. I knew what I wanted, but it couldn't happen how she wanted it to. Her friends simply couldn't know, and neither could mine. That wasn't such a problem for me being new in town, but I know how much I wanted to tell my friends back home. I wanted to call every single one of them and tell them about the beautiful and amazing woman I had met. I'd told Lauren that it was up to her whether she told Ally, but I thought she would have taken more time to think about it. I thought she would have at least taken a day or two to sit down with me and convince me that it was the right call. But she didn't. She just showed up at my place last night and told me Ally knew. That hurt. What harm could another day have done? She said her friend was hurt because she didn't tell her about us? Well, I'm hurt that she didn't bring it up with me first. Yes, she had mentioned it via text message, but I didn't think she would just tell her there and then. After all, I'm the one who would be out of a job. I'm the one whose career would be ruined.

I know that we can figure out something, and providing that Ally is genuine and trustworthy, we could continue with what we were doing right now. I hadn't meant to blow up at her, but I panicked. I could see that she understood, but I didn't expect her to walk away from me.

I'd managed to get a few hours sleep last night, and although the brunette was playing on my mind every minute of the day, I couldn't let it affect the job I had to do. It was Tuesday, so it wasn't likely that I would see her. She wasn't due to have a session until tomorrow, and I wasn't sure she would even turn up to it. I hoped she would, but they are voluntary so if she didn't show, I had no right to complain.

I'd powered my way through the day and managed to get a lot of work done. Lauren ever present on my mind, I'd figured that she would come to me when she had cooled down. I'd sent her a few messages throughout the day, and now realising that she wasn't going to reply, I'd given up on any contact from her. I couldn't exactly go running through campus looking for her, so I decided to just wait.

Rushing home to prepare for tonight's dinner with a few people from campus, I'd checked my cell before hitting the shower. Just like the rest of the day... nothing.
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