Love, Novela [Completed]

Re: Death and Sin (sounding like Romans)

From: novela-harmon@bethel.edu
Date: Thu, Sep 21, 2017 at 6:43 PM
Subject: Death and Sin (sounding like Romans)
To: grace-k-nelson@bethel.edu

 Alex gave me some real assignments at our meeting today. I'm excited about that, although it has to do a lot with death and the belief in the dead hanging around, so I'm really hoping that doesn't come back to haunt me (little joke). I might have to read it only at brightly lit coffee shops during the day and such. We'll see.

Keep praying for Alex. We sort of continued our conversation on spirituality from last week, with a twist. Here are a rundown of his arguments, and my responses.

Alex's main challenge this time was, "The list of sins that Christians fixate on is ridiculous. Don't drink, don't have sex, don't smoke-- is smoking is even mentioned in the Bible?"

I answered, "No, but it's about taking care of your body, more than the individual act."

He said, "OK, but regardless. There are other terrible things that people do that cause more damage, like judging people, slander, cheating people out of money - I've heard of Christians doing these things."

"I agree those are also serious sins that should be avoided. And it's not about following a certain list. We are supposed to avoid all sins - of thought, of speech, and of body."

"I just don't see how alcohol or sex are necessarily harmful."

"They aren't, in themselves. Many Christians - myself included - drink alcohol in moderation, as you have observed. Sex is created by God and is therefore a good thing. It's just abusing them, or using them outside their proper context, that is the problem."

"I don't see how how sexual relations between two consenting adults is such a problem. What does God care about that?"

"So you think that sex before marriage shouldn't be considered a sin?"

"I think there are worse things."

"Of course. But that doesn't make it a good thing, either."

"No, that in itself doesn't make it a good thing. But maybe it isn't a bad thing. You're not hurting anyone, in the case of two consenting adults, and both parties benefit from the action."

"Maybe in the short run. But there are reasons I still think it's not wise."

"I'm sure it's not wise much of the time, maybe most of the time. But that doesn't mean there aren't times when it might be perfectly acceptable."

"But you're Catholic. I thought Catholics didn't believe in having sex out of wedlock, either.

"That may be true. But I'm not a Catholic, not anymore."

"Then what are you?"

"I don't know. Agnostic, I suppose. If you can't be sure that any one religion is true, why would you spend all your time and energy trying to follow one?"

I may have missed a few things or slightly misquoted, but that was the gist of it. I've never engaged quite this much on this topic and I feel like I was spewing out whatever came to me. I hope to have the chance to revisit once I've had time to do more research and thinking and prayer. Obviously the main goal is not to convince him of what actions should be considered sins, but lead him back toward belief, whether that be devout Catholicism or Protestant Christianity. Please pray for me, in this terrifying opportunity that's apparently before me, and for him, that his heart would be open.

I love debating, and it seems like he does too. But witnessing is different and it's not really my strength, and I'm feeling underqualified. Especially launching into discussions about out-of-wedlock sex, while I'm sitting there with him one-on-one. Really need to make sure I avoid falling into the "missionary dating" trap, however impossible it might seem that I would ever date him. 

Please pray, and any advice you have, feel free to share! Feeling a little alone and out of my depth.

Thanks.

N