Alex called. I didn't answer. I don't even know what to say to him. But then there are moments when I seem to have so much I could say to him.
I'm not sure I've ever found out something this messed up about someone I was this close to. If it were another girl in this situation and I heard about it, I'd be certain she would never want to see or hear from him again.
But that's not the case. I am crushed, shocked, horrified, disappointed, and disgusted. I alternately want to scream at him, slap him, shove him, and give him the silent treatment. I want to see him grovel, cry, and offer endless apologies. But I want to see him.
My first thought was, "At least that's over." I was sure it would finally destroy any emotional connection I have to him. But it didn't. Then I tried to reason myself into severing any romantic ties, but I couldn't. I feel as strongly as I did before, but it's different now. Instead of chaotic warm fuzzies, it's more of a dull ache. If anything it feels stronger now, maybe because I tried to break it and couldn't, maybe because there is more depth to it now. On all those stupid shows they say, "To love is pain." I thought that was preposterous. Now I don't.
I have never learned something this bad, or even close to it, about someone I liked without it totally changing my feelings. By all accounts, it should have. But it didn't. Any crush would have been annihilated. This is no crush. What a crappy way to realize that.
I guess Shakespeare was right: "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." Even when we wish it would.
YOU ARE READING
Love, Novela [Completed]General Fiction
If soul mates really exist, does that mean you are supposed to be with them? Even if it means turning your back on your family and friends, values and beliefs? Novela is a journalism and Latin American Studies double-major spending a semester in Gua...