11/22/17

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11/22/17

Alex asked me if I had Thanksgiving plans. (Props to him, I guess, for remembering tomorrow is Thanksgiving.) I said yes, I was going to a dinner at Pastora Elena's. Up until then I'm not sure if I'd really decided whether I was going. I'm not sure why, but I was kind of just not feeling it. I think that being at a Thanksgiving celebration away from my family was just going to make it all the more clear that it wasn't right, it wasn't home.

But when he asked, I had to say something. I feel like I have this obligation to at least try to fend him off. Even when I am dying to say yes to him, to any little thing he suggests, I have to put up some kind of defense, and then if he sometimes breaks through, oh well I tried. Logically it makes NO SENSE, but I don't think there's much true logic involved here. More like rationalization.

In any case, I told him I was going to do this, and since I know he'll ask about it, now I'm locked in. So I should figure out what I can buy/make to contribute, and call her to let her know I'm coming and ask what to bring.

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