us ➳ jack gilinsky

xix.

February, 20, 2014

Dear Jack,

       Nash called me today, he invited me over so I could see the rest of the boys. At first I said no and hung up. But then he continued to call me back multiple times and literally forced me to listen to what he had to say.

       "We all want to see you, Ashley. We have a day of movies and catching up to do. I don't care what your excuse is, but you are coming over. And if you say no, we will come over there and physically drag you out of your house." he had said.

       I was unsure of it at first, because I was unsure as if you would be there or not. But I decided to forget about it, to forget about you for a bit.

       I gave in, mostly, because I knew Nash wasn't kidding. I knew they would come to my house and drag me out, because they had done it before.. But also, because I want to see the rest of the boys. I need to see them. It's been way too long, and in a way, I feel as if being in their presence will bring me a sense of belonging once again.

       Maybe, in a way, it'll make me feel better again too. Just like I had felt the day I saw Nash. I'm hoping, anyways, because the boys have always been able to put a smile on my face, no matter how upset I've been. I remember all the times when I would sit and cry over the things that were going on in the past, and the boys would try to make me feel better. No matter how many times I had told them to leave me alone, they never did. They knew better. Instead, they would hug me and do all those silly things they do to try to make me laugh, even if it was the slightest.

       I don't know, I guess I really have no idea how things are going to turn out today, but that's just how it is. You take a chance, knowing it could turn out good, or bad. You secretly hope for the best while expecting the worst. I guess you never really know until you experience it. I'm surprised though, that I'm really going through with this. I guess it's just because I miss them all so much. Being away from them all, including you, is just too hard on me. You have all become such a big part of my life in such a little amount of time and being away from you all for so long is almost embarable.

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Yours truly,

Ashley.